Close Call
by jeu de mots
Summary: A close call at a scene forces someone at the 1-6 to re-examine their feelings. Rolivia.
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks so much for all the great feedback from my first Rolivia story. Here's another...**

She hates warehouses.

Too many dark corners, too many hiding places, too much unpredictability.

It seems like no matter how much backup you bring, you're always at a disadvantage; it's always predator becoming prey and not even realizing the shift until it's almost too late.

Like today.

Olivia takes a steadying breath, eyes staring blankly at a fixed spot on her desk as she relives the moment for what feels like the thousandth time since they left the warehouse this morning.

They were on the trail of a serial rapist; a psycho who had attacked 7 little girls in as many weeks, and it seemed like they were always one step behind. He was taunting them, but in his thrill of being the _hunted_ instead of the _hunter_ , he'd finally made a mistake. He left DNA-trace amounts, but it was there, and it was enough to give them a name. A name led to a cell phone, and the GPS led them there-to the warehouse.

Guns drawn, she and her detectives had moved stealthily through the sweltering, dimly lit open space; Olivia could recall barely hearing the sirens of their backup surrounding the building over the sound of her own heart thundering in her ears. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing at attention, unable to shake the feeling of being watched as her eyes frantically moved back-and-forth across her sight line, ensuring she had eyes on her team as well as trying to identify any threat to their safety amongst the shadows.

Fin and Carisi were covering each other ahead of her; Rollins paced silently to her left, their backs somewhat toward each other as they swept the periphery, eyes peeled for movement, ears perked up for any sound that wasn't them.

She swallows thickly at the memory of it; the sound of a gun cocking. She'd been stunned temporarily still as the figure came out from behind a tall crate, and she'd barely had time to yell " _GUN!"_ in warning to her squad before the gunshot shattered the silence. She whirled around just in time to see the bullet pierce another crate, just behind where Amanda was standing.

Fin had reacted quickly, returning fire to disable their perp while Carisi stepped in to slap cuffs on the guy. She watched silently as Rollins unclipped the radio that had been attached to her belt, giving the team outside the all-clear to do a full sweep & letting them know that everything was alright, they were coming out unharmed, suspect apprehended.

Everything that happened after that had been a blur, and even now, Olivia couldn't reconcile just how close that bullet had been to her detective. Amanda.

It couldn't have been more than an inch.

If Amanda had planted her foot even just a little bit differently, Olivia knew she'd be standing vigil in a hospital waiting room right now instead of holing up in her office, glancing upward every ten seconds to check on the blonde detective, making sure she was still there.

The fear she'd felt today, in the split second before her brain had caught up to what her eyes were seeing and she knew Rollins was okay, was unlike anything she'd felt before. And once the shock had worn off, the fear had given way to other things; things she'd never allowed herself to feel for the blonde before.

Amanda Rollins had made her feel many things over the years: anger and frustration taking high spots on that list; even pride, occasionally. But never this.

Nothing had ever made her feel _this._

* * *

The rest of the day passes without major fanfare, and Olivia is thankful, given her tenuous grip on the here-and-now. She does her best to bury herself in paperwork-God knows there's plenty of it after this morning and the interrogation that followed-and for the most part it works; though she's powerless to stop the slips into flashbacks of the warehouse, the periodic clandestine glances at the younger detective as the day wears on.

She has no concept of the time other than the daylight still peeking through her office windows when she is jarred from the case files littering her desk by light knocking at her cracked office door.

It's her, _Amanda_ , hovering almost hesitantly in her doorway. "Hey," the detective greets meekly, taking steps forward and pulling a file from behind her back when Olivia beckons her closer. "The Donalds case," Amanda explains. "Ready for Barba."

"Thanks," Olivia replies, taking the file and briefly skimming a couple of pages. "I'll get it to him." She turns her attention back to Amanda, who's tucked her hands in the back pockets of her slacks. "How is it out there?" she asks, cocking her head toward the squad room, where her other detectives remain busy, either bent over their own case files or with phones pressed to their ears.

"Uh," Amanda shrugs, following the Lieutenant's gaze to her colleagues. "Quiet," she finally says. "For now."

She snorts when Olivia's knuckles rap gently on the surface of her wooden desk, _knocking on wood_. "Don't jinx it, Rollins," Olivia says, giving her detective a wry look and a tight smile.

It seems silly to her, having this mundane exchange of words in her office when all day, she's been grappling with a tightness in her chest that had manifested in that warehouse and had hardly let up since.

She finds that, simultaneously, she can't stand to be near this woman for a second longer, while at the same time even the thought of letting her go leaves a pit in her stomach.

"So, while it's quiet..." Amanda broaches cautiously, squaring her shoulders as she meets her Lieutenant's eyes, "I can't remember the last time I got out of here while the sun was still up," she says. "Carisi's catching." Her eyes flit out the window behind her Lieutenant's desk briefly. "And," she adds, sighing in resignation, "...it's been a day, ya know?"

"It has," Olivia confirms tightly, hardly daring to breathe at the vague mention of all that had transpired.

"I was thinkin' about takin' the long way home," Amanda said, her voice wistful. "...Gettin' some vitamin D…"

Olivia nods, understanding all too well the urge to see the city as a civilian once in a while, after the horrors you see of it as a cop. "Go," she says simply, watching Amanda nod gratefully before turning toward the door. She can't resist saying one more thing, though, and the blonde turns back to face her at the sound of her name being called. "Take care of yourself, okay?" Olivia reminds her.

Amanda cocks her head, resting one hand on the doorframe as she hovers half-in and half-out of Olivia's office. "Been doin' that my whole life, Lieutenant," she drawls, with what can only be described as a self-deprecating smile. She taps her fingers against the doorframe and mutters, "Get home safe."

If Rollins is aware of the brown eyes that follow her as she moves toward her desk, packing up what little she'd brought with her before heading to the elevators and out of sight, she gives no indication, and Olivia waits until the exact second the lithe frame of her blonde detective disappears around the far corner before her body physically deflates in her chair.

She doesn't allow herself much time to wallow in whatever it was that had her locked in its talons, taking a deep breath and straightening up in her seat before returning to the mess of dead trees that lay scattered across her desk.

As the light beaming through her windows gradually dims into dusk, she makes a show of working diligently, trying to convince herself that not having Rollins in the squad room, blonde hair peeking just over the shade of her desk lamp, does anything to quell the distraction she feels.

And finally, when "working" becomes a glorified dance of pushing papers across her desk and she is no longer absorbing things without reading them four, five, even six times, she runs a tired hand through hair that is in desperate need of a wash, packs up her purse, and strides toward the elevator, exuding a quiet confidence that she knows is merely an elaborate front for the emotions warring inside of her.

* * *

Olivia has lost count of the number of times she's almost turned around and gone back home, but every time her steps have faltered, something keeps her pushing forward.

 _Maybe that second glass of wine wasn't such a good idea_ , she thinks to herself, stepping off the elevator and taking a wary step forward. As she approaches the younger woman's apartment, she can hear the dull din of Amanda's television through the paper-thin walls, followed by a groan of what sounds like disappointment. The latter makes her lips twitch in amusement, the sound so patently _Amanda_ that it's oddly comforting in its own way, and she steels herself as she comes to a stop in front of the familiar door, hand poised to knock.

 _Last chance,_ she tells herself. _If you leave now, she'll never have to know you were here_ …

And then, as if her hand has a mind of it's own, she feels her knuckles rap against the door, consciously knocking loud enough to compete with the television to be heard.

Olivia can almost envision the blonde as she hears the TV go silent; Amanda yells, " _Coming!"_ through the door to her unannounced guest, and then Olivia can hear footsteps padding against hardwood floors before coming to a stop on the other side of the door. It opens then, revealing a casual but distracted Amanda, who's keeping one eye on the TV as it registers who's at her door. "Liv," she says, surprised, stepping back to allow the other woman entrance.

"Hey," Olivia answers quietly. She steps into the apartment, following Amanda toward the kitchen. "Sorry to just...drop by," she offers.

"No, no. It's fine. I was just watchin' the game," she shrugs, gesturing at the TV before sliding her hands into the back pockets of her faded jeans. She watches Olivia turn to see the Knicks game on mute, and promptly turns back to the younger woman, eyebrow arched. "I don't have any money on it, Lieutenant," Amanda assures her with a patient eye roll, knowing exactly what she's thinking. When Olivia's gaze doesn't relent, she adds, "Honest, I don't. I'm just watchin'. It's just…" she runs a hand through soft blonde hair, "It's a good distraction, y'know? It's mindless."

At this, Olivia nods, understanding. "Okay."

As the brunette makes herself comfortable, dropping her purse onto the counter of her kitchen, Amanda remembers her manners. "D'you want a beer, or..." She turns to survey the meager contents of her refrigerator before glancing back at her lieutenant with a sheepish smile. "...Water? Sorry, it looks like I need to go shoppin' again."

"I'm fine," Olivia declines with a small smile, shaking her head. Despite their stark differences, the younger detective reminds her so much of herself sometimes it's almost jarring.

Amanda grabs a fresh beer for herself and straddles the arm of her couch, curious blue eyes following Olivia as the older woman makes her way deeper into the living room. The TV stays muted as the brunette slowly rounds the room, stopping on occasion to study the spine of a criminology textbook or to study one of the few pictures Amanda has prominently displayed.

After a several agonizing moments of utter silence, Amanda can't take it anymore, quietly broaching, "Everything okay?" She absently picks at the label on her bottle, feeling oddly exposed by the thorough examination Olivia is conducting of her living room.

"Yeah," Olivia nods. She finally stops, rooted to one spot, and shrugs one shoulder as she crosses her arms over her chest and meets Amanda's concerned gaze. "Yeah, I just wanted to...check on you." The older woman is thankful for the dim light in the room that hides her blush when Amanda's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "After today, y'know," she adds, before she can stop herself.

"I'm fine, Liv," Amanda assures her with a shrug, then pauses. "Are _you?"_

Olivia is silent for a long moment, redirecting her gaze to a photo she can tell is of Amanda and Kim when they were much younger, knowing innately that the blonde keeps these mementos out to remind of a time when things weren't so complicated between them. She can feel the blonde's eyes on her, and she squares her shoulders, letting the words escape her lips before she can think twice about the implications. "Do you have _any_ idea how close that bullet came to hitting you today, Amanda?" she asks, so quietly Amanda has to lean closer to hear her.

Several seconds go by without a response and Olivia finally turns just in time to see Amanda take a deep, steadying breath before setting her beer on the coffee table and disappearing without a word toward the hallway. Luckily, she returns before the brunette has time to worry over what her departure means, and Olivia recognizes immediately that Amanda is not empty-handed. She's holding the blouse the older woman recognizes as the one she'd been wearing earlier. At the warehouse.

Amanda draws her attention to the seam on the side of the blouse, and Olivia gasps when she identifies the tear in the fabric. "I found this when I changed earlier," the younger woman explains softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't even feel it."

Olivia rubs her thumb along the torn material, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes as she takes in a shaky breath. "Amanda…" she chokes out. "If you'd've been hit, I don't know what I would've done…" she sighs, teeth worrying her lower lip before she adds brokenly, "And honestly…" she breathes out a humorless chuckle, "That scares the shit out of me."

"We're cops, Olivia," Amanda argues gently, resting a hand on Olivia's forearm, blue orbs overflowing with concern as she eyes her boss. "There's always a chance of something like that happening… It's just the job."

"I know that," the brunette nods, sparing a glance upward to meet Amanda's eyes. "I do. But today," she tries, "It wasn't _Detective Rollins_ that I was worried over," she confesses. "Not as much, anyway. It was more _you_ , Amanda."

The detective's eyes widen at the admission and she looks down at Olivia's hand as it worries over the fabric of her blouse. Her heart is in her throat, so thrown by her boss's presence in her living room right now that she struggles to reconcile the words that the older woman is saying. She lightly squeezes the arm that's still in her grasp as the brunette struggles to maintain eye contact. "What are you saying, Liv?"

It's a valid question, but Olivia finds she doesn't have words to answer it. So, for once in her life, despite feeling like she's apt to pass out on the floor of Amanda's living room, she throws caution to the wind and just doesn't think, letting her lips-her heart-do the talking as she cradles Amanda's cheek in one hand and pulls the younger woman in for a kiss.

* * *

After stiffening briefly in surprise at the initial contact of plump, glossed lips pressing firmly against her own, Amanda's eyes fall shut instinctively and her hand tightens around Olivia's arm as she slowly begins to return the pressure against the older woman's mouth.

Shuffling closer to the blonde once it becomes obvious that the younger woman isn't pushing her away, Olivia wills her brain into silence, barely breathing as she allows herself to relax into the kiss. She tightens her grip on Amanda's cheek, parting her lips and angling her head slightly as she pulls the blonde's lower lip between her own and suckles gently. When she introduces her teeth, nibbling lightly on Amanda's lower lip, she feels the other woman gasp against her, and that is what ultimately pulls her out of the moment.

"Shit," Olivia gasps, pulling her lips away with a light smack. "I'm sorry," she says, covering her face with both of her hands and feeling the heat of embarrassment rise in her cheeks. "God, I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have done that…"

"Liv…" Amanda tries, resting her hands on Olivia's shoulders and dipping her head down to try to meet the older woman's eyes.

"No," the brunette shakes her off, trying to dart around the other woman to get to her purse and leave before she can do any more damage. She brings herself to glance at the detective. "I'm sorry, Amanda."

"Can you wait a second?" Amanda asks desperately, taking the purse out of Olivia's hands and pulling the older woman back toward the couch. "Let's sit, okay? And-and… Talk."

Grudgingly, Olivia allows herself to be pulled onto the couch, stubbornly refusing to meet Amanda's eyes. "I don't even know what to say," she whines. "That shouldn't have happened."

The younger woman pulls a hand from in front of Olivia's face, grasping it in her own and squeezing gently before she expels a slow breath. "Why not?" she asks bluntly, her voice soft.

Olivia scoffs, dropping her other hand into her lap and looking at the blonde incredulously. " _Why not_?" she repeats. "I'm your _boss_ , for starters..."

Amanda shrugs, "Okay, that's true," she allows. "But, we're not on duty _right now_ , Liv. Don't think about that."

"You-you don't feel... _that way_ about me…"

The younger woman raises her eyebrows, not missing a beat when she asks, "I don't?"

Brown eyes dart to blue and their gazes lock before Olivia shakes her head. "You don't have to patronize me, Amanda. It's okay," the older woman sighs, resigned. "Look, I crossed a line. I'm sorry for that. If we can just forget this happened, I'll go and leave you to your game."

The brunette goes to stand but is tugged back down almost immediately. "I don't care about the game, Olivia," Amanda says frustratedly, shifting on the couch until she's facing the older woman and taking both of Olivia's hands in hers. She watches silently as Olivia stares, awed by her thumbs rubbing softly over tanned knuckles. "God, you really have no idea, do you?" she asks rhetorically after studying the brunette for a long moment.

"No idea about what?" Olivia asks absently.

Amanda purses her lips, thinking about how to broach what she has to say. Finally, she tugs on Olivia's hands, drawing the older woman's gaze up to meet her own. She cocks her head to the side, smiling slightly. "I've had," she looks up, shaking her head, " _the biggest_ crush on you," she shares shyly. "For as long as I can remember." She bites her lip to keep from laughing at the look of shock on Olivia's face. "Years," she adds.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Olivia whispers.

The question sparks a burst of laughter from the blonde, and Olivia jumps in surprise at the sudden sound. "You're my _boss_ , for starters," the younger woman mocks, squeezing the brunette's hands in her own. "And… up until recently I was pretty sure you hated me," she says dryly, shrugging as the other woman absorbs what she's saying.

"I never hated you," Olivia finally says. Amanda scoffs, rolling her eyes in disbelief, and the older woman shakes her head. "I'm serious, Amanda." She disentangles one of her hands from the blonde's, reaching up to stroke the other woman's cheek. "I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye," she admits, brown eyes lovingly roving over Amanda's face, as if she's seeing the younger woman for the very first time, "but I have _always_ cared about you. Even if I didn't know how to show it."

Amanda nods, swallowing thickly. "Okay," she whispers, looking down at their hands that are still joined and lacing their fingers together. "So, now what?"

The older woman chuckles, letting her hand drop from Amanda's face. "That's a good question," she concedes. "I guess I don't really know. This is all...new," she admits, gesturing between them.

"You know," Amanda begins quietly, after a comfortable silence stretched for long seconds between them, "When I heard that shot go off…." she squeezes Olivia's hand when she feels the brunette tense beside her, "For a second there, I was afraid I'd never get the chance to kiss you…"

Olivia's heart rate picks up but she says nothing, staring silently at the younger woman until Amanda is compelled to look up at her, blue eyes locking onto warm brown. Finally, as she grazes the back of Amanda's hand with her thumb, she whispers, "So...what's stopping you now?"

Amanda smirks at the shift, slowly leaning into the older woman's space and lifting her free hand to push wavy strands of brown hair out of Olivia's face. The brunette watches with bated breath as darkening blue eyes drift down to her lips in time with Amanda's movements closer to her.

Finally, as mere millimeters separate their mouths from touching for the second time, their breaths mingling in the shrinking space between them, Amanda's eyes dart back up to connect with brown, and the younger woman rasps, "Nothing," before closing the distance.

Olivia whimpers as the younger woman's lips press against her own, and her free hand rises, fingers threading through silky blonde hair before cradling the back of Amanda's head. Their lips separate briefly before reconnecting, and Olivia sighs against Amanda's mouth as she feels the other woman's hand drop down to her hip, lips parting and wrapping around her lower lip.

Amanda moans softly as her tongue lightly flicks the brunette's lower lip, tasting the other woman's gloss before delving into the warmth of Olivia's mouth. Her grip tightens on the older woman's hip, her body moving impossibly closer until she's practically on top of her lieutenant, relishing the feeling of their tongues sliding wetly against each other for the first time.

The sensations are overwhelming and Olivia's brain effectively shuts down as Amanda kisses her fervently, years of pent-up attraction exploding between the two women. She doesn't want to think about what led them here, or what happens after. Her mind can only focus on the way the younger woman is devouring her, the way Amanda's hair feels between her fingers, the way her skin tingles beneath her t-shirt as Amanda's hand slowly drifts up from her hip to rest just beneath her breast.

Olivia's nipples tighten in anticipation of Amanda's hand on her breast, and it's then that she wrenches her mouth away, desperately needing air and to wrap her mind around everything that has transpired. She presses their foreheads together, tenderly squeezing the back of Amanda's neck as they both struggle to catch their breath. "Wow," Olivia pants raggedly, cheeks tinged with pink as she shyly meets the younger woman's gaze.

Amanda hums in agreement, turning her head slightly and trailing open-mouthed kisses along Olivia's jaw before sucking the older woman's earlobe between her lips and moving down to her neck.

"I think..." Olivia gasps, arching her neck back to give Amanda more room, "I think I'm gonna go."

The blonde stops abruptly and pulls back, confused blue eyes searching Olivia's. "What? Why?" she asks.

"Not because I want to," Olivia assures her breathlessly, letting go of Amanda's hand and cupping the younger woman's cheeks before kissing her chastely. "Because I don't trust myself to stay," she whispers, kissing the blonde again before standing up. She can feel Amanda's eyes on her as she makes her way toward the counter to retrieve her purse, and she smiles at the faraway look on the other woman's face-Amanda still clearly entrenched in the fog of arousal. "Walk me out?"

"'kay." Amanda clears her throat, rubbing her palms along the tops of her thighs before standing and following Olivia to the door. They stare at each other silently for a moment before Amanda reaches for the older woman's hand. "You don't have to go, you know," she tries, cocking her head in the direction of her living room. "We were onto somethin' pretty good over there, I thought…"

Olivia chuckles, wrapping an arm around Amanda's waist and pulling their bodies closer together. "Oh I know… _I thought_ , too," she hums, giving into temptation and kissing her way from Amanda's cheek to her lips. "That's why I'm leaving, 'Manda," she husks, pressing her forehead to the younger woman's. "I care about you, so much… and I want to do this the _right_ way."

"There was nothing wrong about what happened over there, Liv," Amanda complains, pressing Olivia against the wall next to the door. Before the older woman has a chance to respond, Amanda covers her mouth with her own, erotically parting the brunette's lips with her tongue and pressing their bodies tightly together. She smirks against Olivia's lips when she feels the vibration of a moan against her mouth, and she pulls away panting, her thumbs drifting beneath the material of Olivia's shirt and grazing the soft skin of her hips. "You sure I can't convince you to stay?" Amanda husks, watching the rapid rise-and-fall of Olivia's chest as the other woman catches her breath.

"No, I'm not," Olivia breathes honestly, snickering as she meets Amanda's eyes. "The opposite actually," she says lightly, hugging Amanda to her. "I'm sure you _could_ convince me-probably very easily."

"Then…"

Olivia shakes her head slightly, pushing back from the wall. "We'll get there," she promises, nuzzling Amanda's nose with her own as she reaches for the doorknob and pulls the door open. She presses a lingering kiss to Amanda's lips, whispering against the younger woman's mouth as she pulls away, "I just don't want to put too much pressure on us, too soon, okay?"

Seeing the resolve in Olivia's eyes, Amanda groans, giving in and nodding as she leans against the doorframe, smiling softly at the brunette who now stands in the hallway. Wordlessly, she reaches a hand out, wrapping it around the side of Olivia's neck and pulling the older woman in. She steals another kiss, tugging gently on a plump lower lip as she pulls away.

"Text me when you're home safe?" Amanda requests gently.

Olivia nods. "Of course." The tenderness in the blonde's blue eyes is almost enough to wilt her steadfastness all by itself, and as she squeezes Amanda's hand affectionately and walks away, she curses herself for not seeing that look sooner, for letting the fear of nearly losing the younger woman push her into doing something she should've done a long time ago.

The road they're about to embark on together will be complicated-she has no misunderstandings about that. They'll have to be careful & it's entirely possible ( _probable?_ ) that things within the squad will have to change eventually…

She feels butterflies swirl in her belly and a blush tint her cheeks, remembering heated kisses and the anticipation she'd felt for Amanda's hand to move even just an inch higher on her body, and she can't help but think that whatever comes next will be worth it.

It had taken a close call to open her eyes, but, as she leans against the back wall of the elevator, a silly grin on her face as she descends to the ground floor of the younger woman's building, she promises herself that when it comes to Amanda, she'll never lose sight again.

...

 **I think there's potential for a part 2 here, if there's a demand. You know what to do...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2, as promised. This is obscenely long, but there wasn't really a good spot to cut it in half, so here we are. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _I should've stayed._

All throughout the next day, this thought runs across Olivia's mind on a seemingly endless loop. All day, she feels like she is stumbling and bumbling along a tightrope—calculating her every move and every word so as not to draw attention to this new dynamic between her and Amanda. At the same time, she hasn't wanted to blatantly ignore the younger woman either, for fear Amanda would think she's changed her mind.

Like she _could_ change her mind, Olivia mentally scoffs. It has barely been twenty four hours since a Pandora's box of her feelings and emotions has been unleashed, and Olivia has neither the energy nor the desire to even try to force it all back inside.

It feels new; a little risky. Dangerous even, given everything that's at stake. She idly wonders if whatever this pull is between them is worth potentially losing their careers over before she shakes her head to banish the thought. No need to go there. Not yet.

She taps the end of her pen on the legal pad in front of her, notes from their latest case scattered across the page, as the object of her distraction paces at the head of the conference table.

To her right, Barba sighs. "We need Claudia," he says matter-of-factly. "If she doesn't testify," he continues, meeting Carisi's and Fin's eyes across the table and clicking his pen impatiently, "We've got nothing."

In the back of her mind, Olivia hears Fin arguing the weight of the evidence against Claudia's assailant, but her eyes follow Amanda as she continues to pace. The detective's brow is furrowed in concentration as she listens to the back-and-forth between Fin and the ADA. Her eyes are glued to the floor, so she doesn't notice the way Olivia's gaze is fixed on her, memorizing her every curve; the way her nipples strain like bullets against her silk blouse when her blazer pulls open.

"What about the other women?" Amanda interjects exasperatedly, pulling Olivia back into the moment. "They all described the exact same person. They were attacked the exact same way. In the exact same neighborhood," she argues, punctuating each statement with a firm finger into the top of the conference table. She looks from Barba to Olivia, and the Lieutenant could swear that something in Amanda's eyes shifts when they lock on hers, just for half a second, but then it's all business again.

"I filed a motion to bring in testimony from the other women, to establish a pattern of predatory behavior," Barba replies steadily. "The hearing is tomorrow morning."

Olivia watches as Amanda puts her hands up in a yielding gesture, backing off and running a hand through her hair as she steps back from the table and resumes pacing. The brunette knows she should be more involved in this; crafting a game plan, maybe coming up with ways to shake the evidentiary tree a little harder and see what falls out, but this has been her struggle today: staying focused on her job when all her mind wants to do in that moment is remember what Amanda's lips had tasted like when she'd kissed her. If she concentrates hard enough, she can remember the silkiness of the other woman's tongue as it slid along her own—

"But we've been down this road before," Barba reminds them all. "If the judge doesn't allow me to bring in the other women, then Claudia is all we have." He makes eye contact with each of them for emphasis.

"She's...fragile...right now," Amanda grimaces, biting her lip and looking to the ceiling in exasperation. "This bastard's gonna walk—"

"Don't forget," Barba interrupts, smirking triumphantly as he eyes Carisi across the table. "He _is_ in holding right now for assaulting a police officer."

Carisi gingerly presses a finger to a darkening bruise on his jaw, rolling his eyes at the other man. "Barely a bruise," he says dismissively.

"Doesn't matter," Barba argues quickly. "Even if your pride is bruised worse than your face," he smiles, "it's still assault on a police officer, and it's still at least a night in jail— _especially_ if you take your time with the paperwork," he winks, his smile broadening.

Fin leans back in his chair and crosses his arms across his chest. "He'll be out in time for breakfast tomorrow," he grumbles.

When Barba heaves a deep sigh and looks at the table in frustration, Olivia finally becomes an active participant in the conversation, if only to diffuse a rehash of the argument they'd just finished. "Okay, guys," she says, holding up her hands in supplication.

Barba looks at her and says pointedly, "Get Claudia."

Olivia meets Amanda's gaze over his shoulder. The look in the younger woman's fiery blue eyes is determined, and it's the same grit that Barba can hear in the Lieutenant's voice when she finally responds.

"We will."

The ADA gives her a curt nod, satisfied, and with that, they're all rising from the table, Barba making his way to the elevator while the squad ambles over to their desks to pack up for the night, the case at a standstill at least until the following day.

Olivia moves slowly, hoping Fin and Carisi are in more of a hurry to leave for the evening so she can have a few minutes alone with Amanda, if for no other reason than to make some kind of plan for when they can see each other again as...whatever they are now, instead of as Lieutenant and Detective. When she hears Amanda's voice asking if anyone's up for a drink, her eyes widen and she whips around on the way to her office, making sure neither of the other detectives will notice before shooting the younger woman a look that screams _what the hell are you doing_?

She sighs in relief when Carisi is the first to decline.

"Next time, though," he promises. "I got that thing… With my sister, remember?"

"Right, I forgot," Amanda says. She winks at Olivia behind Fin's head, having known already that Carisi had already made plans that evening. "How 'bout you, Fin?"

"I can't," he says, grabbing his coat. "I'm meetin' Ken and Alejandro and the little fella."

"Grandpa Fin," Olivia teases, clapping his shoulder and giving him a friendly side-hug.

The senior detective waves her off, but can't hide a small smile at her tormenting. "I thought I told y'all to never call me that…"

"Yeah, yeah," Amanda says airily. She turns her gaze to Olivia, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "What about you, Liv? Gonna leave me hangin'?"

Olivia fights a smirk, aware that there are multiple sets of eyes on her as she pretends to weigh her options. She tries to convey an air of nonchalance despite the fact that her mind was made up before Amanda ever extended the invitation. "Sure," she shrugs, almost indifferently. "I guess I could go for a drink…"

Amanda bites her lip, holding Olivia's gaze as she closes her laptop and pulls her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk. Fin nudges the Lieutenant, gesturing at Amanda and muttering, "Watch her," as he and Carisi make their way toward the elevator.

The corner of Olivia's plump lips lift in a tiny smirk and when she speaks, there is so much promise and...fire in not just her words, but her voice, that Amanda is suddenly desperate to be anywhere _but_ the precinct with this woman. Anywhere at all.

"Oh, I will."

* * *

"So, where to?"

Olivia glances over at Amanda in the passenger seat as they get settled in the car a few minutes later. Finally, it's the first meaningful length of time they've been alone since Olivia left the other woman's apartment the night before, and she finds herself feeling inexplicably nervous, suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands once she's fastened her seatbelt.

"Uh," Amanda pauses, resting her elbow on the armrest and eyeing the older woman. "What are you in the mood for?"

Olivia's breath catches in her throat and her imagination runs wild, conjuring up images not of dinner, but pale, naked flesh. Instantly, as if Amanda knows exactly where her mind had gone, the mood in the car becomes extraordinarily charged—brown eyes darkening to near-black in a quick burst of arousal. The older woman gets it under control in what feels like record time, but it was long enough for a blush to stain Amanda's cheeks at the inadvertent innuendo.

"Um," Amanda clears her throat, trying to recover. "There's a new restaurant by my apartment I've been meaning to try, if you're up for it…? I think it's Italian…"

"Italian is good," Olivia nods perfunctorily, giving the blonde a small smile. Putting the car in gear, she purses her lips and exhales carefully, subtly trying to regulate her racing heart.

"You can just, uh—just park in front of my apartment," Amanda tells her, settling into the passenger seat as a swarm of butterflies rages in her stomach. "We can walk from there."

"Okay."

The short ride from the precinct is nearly silent, but not necessarily uncomfortably so. Their arms touch on the center console as the radio plays softly in the background, the women sharing the occasional smile as they grow lost in their own thoughts, both anxious and excited about this new shift in their relationship but neither entirely sure yet what it means.

* * *

"This is nice," Olivia says, surveying the dimly lit restaurant as they settle into a small booth near the back. "You said you haven't been here yet?"

Amanda sips a glass of water and shakes her head. "It hasn't been here that long. Maybe a couple of weeks," she says. "Plus, y'know...work," she adds with a shrug, to which the brunette across from her nods knowingly. Casually perusing the wine list, Amanda spares a glance at the older woman over the top of her menu. "This isn't the kind of place I'd want to come to alone anyway."

"I would agree," Olivia says, smiling. She waits a beat, as if debating whether or not she should say what's on her mind, ultimately deciding to throw caution to the wind. "I'm happy to be here with you, Amanda."

The blush that tints the younger woman's cheeks is visible even in the muted lighting of the restaurant and Olivia's smile widens as she turns her attention to the menu, giving Amanda a small reprieve.

"Do you know what you want?" Olivia looks up sharply at the question; another double meaning. A smile threatens to break across her lips as her eyes lock immediately onto Amanda's blue ones, her own brown orbs brimming with amusement. "I can't believe I did that again," the younger woman laughs self-deprecatingly. She shakes her head, fingers worrying the edge of the cloth napkin wrapped around her utensils. "I meant, to eat. Do you know what you want to _eat_." Olivia's eyebrow lifts nearly to her hairline, and she stifles a chuckle as Amanda's eyes go wide with the realization of what she'd just said. "Fuck."

"You're on a roll," Olivia teases as Amanda, mortified, ducks her head and covers her face with her hands. "Do you want to continue?"

"Right now, I kinda want to disappear," Amanda's muffled voice quips dryly. Olivia's infectious laughter fills her ears and she feels warm fingers wrapping around her wrist, pulling her hand from in front of her face.

"You certainly know how to break the ice, I'll give you that," Olivia chuckles, squeezing Amanda's hand when the younger woman's flush deepens. "Hey, don't worry about it—seriously," she says softly, winking when Amanda gives her a shy smile and a playful roll of her eyes.

Olivia retracts her hand as the waiter approaches and she orders a glass of wine, smiling when Amanda adds a meek "me too" before they're alone once again. She studies the other woman, the way she's struggling to keep still, and cocks her head to the side. "Do I make you nervous?" she asks curiously.

Amanda shoulder lifts in a shy shrug and she lifts her water glass to her lips, if for no other reason than to have something to do with her hand. "Not you specifically so much as _this_ ," she answers finally, gesturing between herself and the older woman. "I'm still not totally convinced yesterday actually happened so I'm just…" she says airily, trailing off before taking a deep breath. She meets Olivia's eyes before letting out a low chuckle as she opens herself up to the other woman, "Just trying not to fuck it up before it even starts," she finishes honestly.

Olivia smiles and lays her hand on the table top, palm up in invitation. She watches as Amanda lays her own hand on top, and she rubs her thumb along pale knuckles. "Me, too."

The somewhat serious moment is broken when the waiter returns with their glasses of wine, and Amanda is inwardly thankful for the interruption, not wanting to weigh down their evening. He promises to return to in a few moments once they've had an opportunity to peruse the menu a little more, and Amanda smirks as she sips at her wine. "So," she says.

Olivia waits a beat for the rest of her thought, arching an eyebrow in curious amusement when the blonde remains silent, eyeing her like the cat that ate the canary. "So…?"

The detective hides her grin behind her wine glass as she takes another sip, ducking her eyes as she chuckles. "Olivia Benson is a perv," she says finally, laughing harder when the brunette rolls her eyes in playful exasperation. "Who knew?"

* * *

Two glasses of wine each later, shared entrees, effortless conversation (once they'd gotten past that initial awkwardness) and a small argument over the bill which they ultimately agreed to split, Olivia and Amanda walk arm-in-arm down a nearly empty sidewalk as they approach Amanda's building.

"This was nice," Olivia remarks as they come to a stop, facing each other a few feet from Amanda's door. Her voice carries a light tone of surprise, which the younger woman is quick to pick up on.

"Did you think it wouldn't be?" she asks, brow furrowed as she eyes the brunette.

Olivia sighs and looks away from the other woman's curious gaze. "It's not that I didn't think it would be," she shakes her head, frustrated with her inability to articulate exactly what she wants to say. "I guess I just... didn't know _what_ to expect," she explains carefully, shifting her feet.

A boisterous group of pedestrians makes their way down the sidewalk and Amanda takes Olivia's hand, pulling her closer to the building and out of the way. With her back against the brick, the blonde tangles their fingers together instead of relinquishing her grip and gives the older woman's hand an understanding squeeze. "Whether we'd be able to shut off the 'cops' and just be Olivia and Amanda?" she smiles knowingly.

"Right," Olivia agrees, meeting the detective's steady gaze. "It was silly. It's not like we don't know how to be around each other."

Amanda leans her weight more fully against the building behind her, resting a hand on Olivia's hip and gently pulling the brunette closer as she nods. "There is a certain level of familiarity," she says with a small smile. "We're just exploring..." Olivia is rapt with attention, hanging on Amanda's every word as the younger woman narrows her eyes and shrugs playfully, "a _new_ level. Right?"

Olivia hums, bringing her own hands up to rest on the blonde's narrow hips, and it almost surprises her how close they are now, Amanda's breath hitting her face with every shaky exhale.

"Nothing wrong with that, right?" The words come out as a whisper against Olivia's lips, and Amanda gives her no time to respond before leaning in that last half an inch until their lips touch.

The kiss deepens almost instantly with Olivia pressing Amanda harder into the building and she swallows a deep moan of satisfaction from the other woman before answering it with one of her own. One hand tightens around Amanda's hip while the other makes its way upward to tangle in soft blonde hair and she grips it tightly, feeling an odd sense of completion at having the silky strands wrapped around her fingers once again. Angling her head, Olivia buries her tongue in Amanda's mouth and sighs, tasting the sweet wine they shared as Amanda's tongue spars playfully with her own in a carnal game of cat-and-mouse.

They are completely swept away, no longer aware of anything going on around them, unable to hear anything but the blood rushing in their ears, the wet sounds of their lips sliding together, soft moans as hands grow bolder in their exploration.

There are no pedestrians, no honking cabs, no police sirens. For a moment, nothing and no one exists but them on that sidewalk and it's the most alive Olivia has ever felt.

When she feels the tip of Amanda's thumb tease the underside of her breast beneath her blazer, she squeaks in surprise against Amanda's lips, pulling the younger woman's hand away and tangling their fingers together as she slowly brings their kiss to a close. Like a fade-in, she gradually becomes aware of their surroundings again and mentally berates herself for getting so carried away on the sidewalk.

"Do me a favor," Olivia pants breathlessly against the blonde's cheek, "and blink your lights when you get upstairs."

Amanda shakes her head, groaning in equal parts frustration and arousal at the dismissal as she grips Olivia tighter against her body, reluctant to let her go. "Come on, Liv. We're both adults," she reasons. She leans her head back against the brick, closing her eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath to help slow her racing heart. "Just come up. Please?" She waits a beat, meeting Olivia's hesitant gaze and sensing that the older woman's resolve is not as strong as she's letting on. "Nothing has to happen," she promises. "We can just...talk—or watch TV or something."

Olivia narrows her eyes skeptically—Amanda was never one to advocate talking, after all—but she tightens her grip on Amanda's fingers and acquiesces before she changes her mind. "Just for a little while," she clarifies.

Amanda brightens, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to her lieutenant's swollen lips. "Thank you."

Olivia takes a step back, gesturing at the door while one hand still maintains a firm grip on Amanda's. "After you…"

* * *

"Make yourself at home." Amanda leads the way into her apartment, hanging up first her own jacket before helping Olivia out of hers and hanging that up as well. Two sets of shoes get toed off near the door, and Olivia makes her way into the living room, folding her right leg up underneath her body as she settles into the couch. "I have wine, if you want more," Amanda calls.

"Water is probably a better idea," Olivia answers, taking the proffered bottle from the blonde's hands when she joins her in the living room a moment later. "It is a school night," she smiles.

Amanda settles on the couch beside her, sitting close, but not so much that their bodies are touching. Even still, the tension between them is thick, and for a moment, they're both silent, sipping on their drinks, Amanda nervously picking at the label on her bottle.

"So," Olivia tries, glancing sideways at Amanda before jerking her chin toward the TV. "Anything on?"

The younger woman smiles but doesn't look up from her water. "Y'know…" She looks over at Olivia whose body is turned partially toward her, brown eyes exuding a sort of smoldering warmth and regarding her with an almost tender fascination. "I don't really care," she says honestly, grinning when the Lieutenant throws her head back and barks out a laugh.

"Thought you said nothing had to happen?" Olivia challenges her; eyebrow lifted, still smiling, her tone carries a lilt of suggestion that makes Amanda's skin tingle.

"Nothing does," the blonde confirms.

"But you want it to." The huskily spoken words are not a question. Olivia knows. It's rippling in the air between them now, as inches separate them on the couch, the same way it did when Olivia was here the day before. The only difference is, this time Olivia doesn't think she has the strength to walk away.

Amanda's eyes darken, almost as if she can see the thoughts as they flit across the older woman's mind, and pink lips stretch into a slow smile as Amanda leans toward her—only slightly, but enough to make her breath catch in her throat. "Somehow, Lieutenant, I don't think I'm alone in that…" the blonde says lowly.

It's impossible to tell who moves first, but one second they're locked in an intensely passionate staring contest and the next, Olivia is half on top of Amanda, pushing her deeper into the couch cushions as the younger woman pulls her closer still. Breaths come out in short bursts as mouths open against each other, tongues searching for and finding their mate.

"Hold on," Amanda gasps, tearing her lips away and gripping Olivia's hips tighter to get her attention.

Olivia, equally winded and near-blinded by lust, hovers over the younger woman. "Something wrong?"

"No," Amanda shakes her head, trying to catch her breath. "Just… lift up a sec." Still confused, Olivia does as she's told, giving Amanda the space she needed to lay flat against the cushions, and with an understanding smile, she settles back down, this time in the cradle of Amanda's now open legs. "Much better," the blonde smiles, wrapping a hand around the back of Olivia's neck and pulling her down for another kiss.

The both moan softly as Olivia's weight settles more firmly against Amanda's body, and what was frenzied and frantic before becomes less so—but no less passionate. Amanda's hands drift down the older woman's back, fingertips scraping against the muscled expanse over the soft material of her blouse, drawing a muted whimper from the other woman and an unconscious jerk of her hips. Amanda squeezes Olivia's backside briefly before reversing course back up, this time letting her hands drift beneath the brunette's top.

At the first touch of the blonde's warm hands on her bare skin, Olivia's arms nearly buckle and she pulls her lips from Amanda's, pressing her forehead into the other woman's temple as she struggles to collect herself.

"Jesus, you're so soft," Amanda whispers raggedly, running her hands up and down Olivia's back before settling them at her sides and squeezing gently. The blonde turns her head against the older woman's, her lips kissing at any piece of flesh she can reach, making her way along Olivia's jaw to her earlobe, drawing the sensitive flesh into her mouth before nibbling softly. "Off," she commands, tugging at the edge of Olivia's blouse for emphasis. "Take it off."

With a grunt, Olivia pushes herself off of the blonde, Amanda sitting up to follow her as she kneels between the younger woman's open legs. Biting her lip, she lifts the blouse up and off of her body, squeezing her eyes closed as Amanda's hands immediately migrate from her sides to her stomach, caressing the newly exposed flesh with benevolent veneration. Tossing the blouse to the floor beside the couch, Olivia arches her neck, covering Amanda's hands with her own as they move upward to cover ample breasts, wrapped in deep purple lace. She feels lips on her skin; sloppy kisses surrounding her belly button following a random path upward before Olivia reaches down, cupping both of Amanda's cheeks in her hands and tilting the younger woman's head upward to meet her lips.

"Your turn," she breathes, removing slender hands from her breasts and gently pushing Amanda back against the couch cushions. She gazes at the younger woman tenderly before turning her attention to the buttons on the blouse she wears—the same one that has been taunting her all day long. One by one, she undoes them, slowly pulling the slinky material aside to expose the creamy white flesh of Amanda's stomach and chest that lay beneath. Olivia is methodical in the way her hands caress Amanda's skin, fascinated by the goosebumps that erupt and the shudder that jolts the younger woman. "You're beautiful," she smiles, meeting blue eyes darkened exponentially by lust before those same eyes flutter closed, a low groan escaping parted lips when Olivia's hand comes up to massage a pert breast through it's satin encasement.

Desperate to feel more of the older woman, Amanda takes Olivia by surprise, lurching up from the couch and pushing the brunette backwards so their positions are now reversed, the blonde straddling the temporarily dumbfounded Lieutenant.

Olivia grips Amanda's hips, smiling up at the other woman. This power struggle, the give-and-take—it feels so inexplicably _them_ ; neither willing to relinquish control to the other for long before they're seizing it back.

" _You_ ," Amanda pants, rolling her hips against Olivia's as her hand reaches for a breast again and massages it with a firm touch that borders on roughness, "are so," she hunches over, burying her face in the older woman's neck, " _fucking_ ," she smiles against heated flesh as Olivia writhes beneath her, "sexy."

"Amanda…" Olivia gasps, massaging the younger woman's backside with one hand as the other tangles in her blonde hair. She feels the vibration of Amanda's responding hum against her neck before her eyes roll back in her head at the hard suck of her skin that follows. "Fuck," she grunts. She pulls harder on Amanda's hair, dislodging the detective's lips and shaking her head when she can finally catch her breath enough to speak more than one word. "No marks," she murmurs, pulling the other woman in for a quick but deep kiss.

Amanda straightens slightly before a sly grin takes over her face. "Not there," she agrees, moving her body a little ways down the brunette's. "Somewhere hidden," she adds huskily, running her hands seductively over the entirety of Olivia's torso. "Somewhere only _I_ know it's there."

Before Olivia can think to respond, Amanda lowers a cup of her bra and exposes her left breast, her mouth immediately latching onto the soft skin just to the left of a dark, pert nipple. Tanned fingers cup the back of her head to hold her in place as the older woman mewls in pleasure, arching her back and pushing her chest further into Amanda's mouth. "Oh, fuck," Olivia grunts. Amanda sucks diligently, using her teeth and tongue to create a mark that will sit just low enough to not be visible with the normal blouses Olivia wears to work.

Nimble fingers move toward her back and seconds later, Amanda is completely topless; pink, pebbled nipples scraping along the heated skin of Olivia's stomach drawing a hiss from the blonde. Massaging the other woman's right breast with her left hand, her right snakes down Olivia's stomach, deftly undoing the button on her dress pants. She pulls back enough to make eye contact, Olivia's nod answering her silent question as she carefully slides her hand inside.

Amanda's fingertips only just breach the waistband of what _feel_ like very sexy panties when both women come to a complete stop when the shrill sound of a phone interrupts their heavy, labored breathing.

"Is that mine or yours?" Olivia asks breathlessly. She doesn't recognize the ring tone, but she's not sure she could compute two-plus-two at the moment, her brain so muddled with arousal.

Amanda hangs her head, climbing off the brunette, who seems just as reluctant to let her go. "It's mine," she says, rushing topless toward her purse and pulling out her phone just before the ringing stops. "Yeah, Fin," she answers the call, biting her lip as Olivia's head peaks over the back of the couch—brown hair is sexily mussed and Amanda can see the curve of her breast, still exposed. She feels a lingering tendril of arousal, her body still thrumming with sheer want for the older woman, and she closes her eyes, scratching at her brow to actually focus on what her partner is saying on the other end of the line. "At Mercy?" She deflates, hearing a similarly disappointed sigh coming from the couch as they both come to understand that this means the end of their night. "Alright. Give me… I don't know. Give me 30?" A beat passes. "Yeah, see ya."

She moves slow as she clasps her bra back into place, watching Olivia right her own as she shrugs into her discarded blouse. When the older woman reaches for her own shirt, Amanda stops her with a hand on her arm. "No," she says softly.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "I'm not leaving here without a shirt on, Amanda," she says dryly.

The blonde shakes her head, saying simply, "Don't leave." She sees Olivia's mouth open, ready to argue, and hurries to add, "If by some miracle this doesn't take all night," she shrugs shyly, "I don't know… I kinda like the idea of you here waiting for me."

Raising her eyebrow at the implication, Olivia asks, "That's getting a little ahead of ourselves, don't you think?"

"It doesn't have to be," Amanda shrugs. "We make the rules here, Liv."

The Lieutenant has an argument on the tip of her tongue. Something to the effect of the brass actually being the ones to make the rules—rules they were currently breaking—but that was a truth even she wasn't ready to acknowledge, opting instead to stay silent.

"Stay," Amanda whispers another plea. The younger woman smiles when Olivia relaxes back into the couch in concession.

"Call me if you need me," she says with a small smile.

"With any luck, I'll be able to come back in a couple hours.'" Olivia nods and cups both of Amanda's cheeks as the detective, clasping the last of the buttons on her blouse, leans over to kiss her. She licks her lips as the blonde pulls away.

Olivia watches from the couch as Amanda gathers her things and forces her feet back into the shoes she had shed not even an hour ago when they'd walked in the door. "Do you want to take my car?"

Amanda laughs softly and shakes her head, pulling her messy sex hair into a sloppy bun and absently wishing they'd actually gotten to the sex part. "That might raise questions. I'll just grab a cab."

"Okay."

The younger woman turns to leave, struck by how oddly comfortable the moment feels. Like it's a completely normal thing for her to get called away with the happy thought of Olivia here to come home to when she was done. It feels familiar. Domestic, even. So much that it's all she can do to stop the _I love you_ from flying out of her mouth as she heads for the door. If a simple kiss had frazzled the older woman the day before, declarations of love would probably send her literally running.

Luckily, Olivia saves her. "Hey, Amanda?"

The blonde turns, eyebrows lifted. "Yeah?"

Thinking back to the fear that had indirectly lead them here to begin with, Olivia purses her lips before meeting patient blue eyes. "Please be careful," she says.

Amanda flashes the Lieutenant a sweet smile, ducks her head and fingers her keys for a brief moment before returning her gaze to the brunette still perched half-dressed on her couch. With this image in her head, and the lingering taste of the other woman on her lips, she knows that it will be a challenge to stay focused on anything else.

"Of course, Liv. I'll be back."

It's a promise of sorts—as close as she can get to one in their line of work. She smiles when Olivia answers with one of her own.

"I'll be here."

* * *

 **So, I somehow ended up writing a slow burn (ish) fic? I love how these things just kind of take on a path of their own choosing sometimes.**

 **I wonder where chapter 3 will take us (full disclosure: at this moment, I have no idea :) )...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again. I won't bore you other than to say: enjoy & your reviews are the antidote to all things horrible. :) **

* * *

It's nearing two o'clock in the morning when Amanda finally slides her key into the lock and slips quietly inside her apartment. The space is mostly dark, lit only by a solitary lamp Olivia left on for her by the couch, and she steps out of her shoes, careful not to make too much noise as she makes her way deeper into the apartment.

She feels the weight of every one of the nearly 24 consecutive hours she's been awake but finds herself simultaneously feeling an undercurrent of anxious anticipation as she approaches her bedroom door, knowing what—or more importantly, _who_ —awaits her on the other side.

The door creaks as she gently pushes it open and she winces, hoping the noise is not enough to jar the brunette into wakefulness. She pauses, waiting to hear a sign that the creak has disturbed the older woman, but when she hears none, she steps across the threshold and into her bedroom, immediately frozen by the sight that welcomes her.

Olivia Benson is sprawled across her bed, one tanned leg peeking out from beneath tangled sheets. Amanda nearly forgets to breathe as an image she's only dared to dream about before manifests itself into her reality.

The blonde's eyes travel from the brown hair fanned across her pillow, to the way the brunette's torso rises and falls with each steady breath; all the way down to Olivia's bare foot peeking out from beneath the sheet, dark polish adorning her perfect toes. Amanda reckons she could spend hours like this, subtly taking in every detail of the other woman, but she doesn't have long to ogle before Olivia, ever the cop, eventually stirs, feeling a presence in the room.

"Amanda?" The older woman's voice is scratchy, thick with sleep as she rises up onto her elbows and turns toward the doorway. It's not the first time the younger woman has heard the Lieutenant's voice like this, having had to make her fair share of middle-of-the-night wake-up calls for one case or another in the past. It _is_ , however, the first time she's had the pleasure of hearing this voice while the other woman is in her bed. This knowledge alone is enough to render her mental faculties temporarily useless and she stares there dumbfounded for long seconds before she remembers to speak.

"Y-yeah. It's just me," Amanda finally chokes out, biting back a smile at how utterly adorable the other woman is half-asleep, her hair going in all different directions. The blonde shrugs out of her jacket as she makes her way deeper in the room, boldly leaning down to caress Olivia's leg as she walks by. "Go back to sleep."

She smiles when she hears a tired sigh and the muffled sound of Olivia's head falling back into the pillow.

"Time is it?" The older woman mumbles groggily, rolling over to lay on her back. "Everything okay with the case?"

"It's late," Amanda answers nonspecifically. She holds onto the doorframe of her closet as she reaches down to remove first one sock, then the other. "And everything's fine with the case. We can talk about it in the morning." Still facing away from the brunette, she unbuttons and unzips her dress pants, hearing the older woman chuckle as she clumsily hops on one foot to rid herself of the garment before quickly unbuttoning her blouse enough to pull it over her head. Though Olivia is silent, Amanda can feel the other woman's gaze as she unclasps her bra and puts it away, quickly slipping on a tank top and turning around. The energy between them is crackling again and as much as she'd love to pick things up where they left off, she knows the window of opportunity for tonight has closed.

Studying the woman laying silently in her bed, Amanda can see the light reflecting on the tiny slits of Olivia's eyes and she cocks her head at the other woman, hands resting on her slender hips in silent challenge.

Even in the dark, Olivia can read exactly what younger woman is thinking. "I wasn't sure what side you normally sleep on…"

"So you decided to take up the whole bed?" Amanda teases. She moves toward the right side and Olivia shifts to give her more room.

"Either way, you'd have to crawl in and lay against me," Olivia says cheekily, lips curling into a small, sleepy grin as Amanda settles beneath the covers, facing the brunette on her left side. "Figured it was a win-win."

Amanda hums, reaching her left hand into the small neutral space between them and smiling when Olivia takes it in her own. Her eyes move across Olivia's face, what she can see of it in the darkness, and she's mystified by the older woman—makeup free, tired, but oh, so gorgeous. Continuing her perusal down the other woman's caramel neck, she scoffs when she sees that the brunette is wearing the shirt that she'd worn to bed the night before. One of the last relics of her high school days.

"Is that my Skynyrd shirt?" she asks knowingly.

Olivia nods and bites her lip to hide her smile as her eyelids begin to grow heavy again. "Smelled like you," she murmurs.

The statement affects Amanda deeply; her stomach doing an involuntary but not unpleasant somersault. It's another subtle affirmation of the fact that this, whatever it was that was going on between them, wasn't one-sided, and it moves her so much so that she is rendered temporarily mute, content to watch Olivia struggle to stay awake before she swallows thickly, finding her voice again only to whisper, "I'm glad you're here."

Olivia moans tiredly, pulling their joined hands into her chest so Amanda can feel her steady heartbeat against the back of her hand. "I told you I would be."

The brunette's tone is matter-of-fact and inwardly, Amanda curses herself. _Of course_ , she thinks. _No matter how small and no matter to whom, she'd never known Olivia Benson to break a promise._

Amanda doesn't say anything else, choosing instead to scoot closer to the older woman. She tangles their legs together, breathing a contented sigh at the sensation of feeling the smoothness of Olivia's skin pressed to hers, and nestles her head further into the pillow, close enough to the other woman's that their noses almost touch.

She's silent as she watches Olivia peacefully doze. She is exhausted herself, but despite that, she knows that she is being afforded an opportunity to witness something that not many get the chance to. And so she resists closing her eyes, not wanting to miss a moment. This Olivia, unguarded and exuding a rare innocence in slumber, is such a stark contrast for the badass Lieutenant that commands the SVU squad room on a daily basis.

Amanda has watched from the sidelines in awe as this woman has taken down men twice her size. It was her strength—both the overt, and the quiet strength of her character—that had initially reeled Amanda in and made her want to get closer to the older woman. But _this_ Olivia...the one beneath the armor… This is the one she finds herself falling even deeper for. She feels a sudden surge of affection and despite the fact Olivia would likely scoff if she ever voiced this, Amanda finds herself wanting to pull the brunette into her arms and shield her from…everything.

Long lashes rest against smooth cheeks and Amanda watches a lock of dark hair as it falls onto the other woman's forehead. She wants desperately to move it; to lift her hand and push the tendril off of Olivia's face, to run her fingers through silky brown strands. But even more than that, she doesn't want to disturb Olivia, who seems to have settled seamlessly back into a restful sleep.

She doesn't know how long she stays like this, quietly studying the older woman, before Olivia suddenly shifts her head and Amanda feels soft lips press against the skin of her forehead in a tender kiss. "Stop thinking," Olivia says in a breathy whisper, before releasing a tired sigh. "Sleep."

Amanda smiles, not really surprised by Olivia's perceptiveness even in sleep, and finally closes her eyes, breathing a soft _goodnight_ before releasing her body into slumber.

The last coherent thought she has before she completely succumbs to unconsciousness is a prayer that, when she wakes up, this hasn't all just been a dream.

* * *

It is Olivia who wakes first the following morning. She blinks blearily, easing her way into consciousness, noticing immediately that her body is rendered immobile by the lithe blonde wrapped securely around her.

The clock on Amanda's bedside table is facing away from the bed and toward the opposite wall and she scoffs—no wonder the younger woman was always late. It's still mostly dark in the unfamiliar bedroom, but there's a dull glow making its way through the window that tells her the sun is slowly making its way up into the eastern sky.

For the moment, the brunette is in no hurry, content to lay in the silence of Amanda's bedroom. She lazily runs her fingers through blonde hair as the younger woman's head rests comfortably against her chest, a pale arm wrapped snugly around her middle and a toned thigh resting across her hips.

She smiles down at Amanda, the younger woman features utterly relaxed in sleep, and is vaguely surprised at herself for the turn this previously contentious relationship has taken in the past couple of days. Wracking her brain, she can't remember the last time she stayed over at a lover's house and just _slept_ —and is that what they are now, she wonders. Lovers? It doesn't seem to matter that they have not yet had sex. Olivia knows they were seconds away from crossing that line when Fin had called the night previous, and she feels a twinge of a blush on her cheeks when she thinks about how long it took her to come down from that heightened state of arousal after the blonde had left the night before.

When it comes to sex with Amanda, she knows it's no longer a matter of _if,_ but _when._

It feels like there are still so many questions to answer, but though she should, she can't find it in her to worry about any of that now. Waking up with Amanda in her arms feels... _nice_. Nicer than she'd anticipated. As had falling asleep in Amanda's bed, despite the fact that the younger woman wasn't in it with her yet.

All of this should scare her, and while elements of it _do_ send a shock of " _what are we doing?"_ through her system, those thoughts are rapidly drowned out of her consciousness by how inexplicably right this all feels, to be here in Amanda's bed, holding the younger woman in her arms. To touch her, to kiss her. It's all just... _right_.

Eventually, having thought herself nearly into a headache, Olivia's bladder can't be ignored any longer and she gingerly slides out of Amanda's hold, whispering something about the bathroom when the blonde grunts pitifully and tries to pull the older woman back into her embrace. She tiptoes to the adjoining bathroom and looks over her shoulder just before she closes the door, her lips curling into a small smile when she sees the younger woman has scooted over into the warmth of the spot she had left behind, burying her face into the pillow that likely smells of the both of them now.

Olivia takes care of business in the bathroom, lightly combing her fingers through unruly brown hair before she pulls her own clothes back on and steps quietly back into the bedroom. Amanda is just as she'd left her, burrowed beneath the blankets in the spot Olivia had just vacated. The brunette gently sits on the edge of the bed, turning the alarm clock on the bedside table. 6:05am. She'll have plenty of time.

She reaches out a hand, sliding it tenderly through blonde locks, playfully wrapping the strands around her fingers until Amanda finally stirs, releasing a grunt before extending her limbs out in a full-body stretch. Slowly, pale eyelids flutter open and Olivia is met with tired blue eyes.

"You're dressed," Amanda observes sleepily, her voice cracking from underuse.

Olivia smiles and nods, her fingers still playing with locks of blonde hair. "I gotta go home and shower," she explains before looking down at herself and adding hastily, "And change. I'm sure Fin will have questions if I show up in yesterday's clothes."

Amanda grunts petulantly, pulling Olivia's hand from her hair and bringing it down to her lips. One by one, never breaking eye contact with the brunette, Amanda sensually kisses each fingertip, wrapping her lips around each digit and watching as Olivia's brown orbs darken in arousal while the older woman takes in deep, steadying breaths to calm her now racing heart.

"Amanda…" she warns.

"I know," the blonde says, lacing their fingers together and resting their joined hands against her chest. "I couldn't resist." Olivia smiles and leans down to kiss the younger woman's lips, frowning in confusion when Amanda instead turns away. "Morning breath," she explains softly, squeezing the older woman's hand.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "I'm about to spend an entire day with you and not be able to touch you," she says flatly. "I don't care about morning breath. Please, just...kiss me."

"Gosh, Liv," Amanda grins. "You don't have to beg…" Olivia opens her mouth in exasperation, ready to argue, but Amanda interjects before she has a chance to. "Relax, I'm just kiddin'. C'mere." She wraps a hand around the side of the older woman's neck and pulls her down, whimpering when their lips meet softly. It's a slow kiss, but chaste, and Olivia takes her time opening her eyes when they finally separate. "Better?" Amanda whispers, all traces of teasing gone from her voice.

Olivia hums, giving the blonde a small smile as she caresses the younger woman's face. Out of the corner of her eye, she glances at the clock noticing it now reads 6:13am. "I'm gonna go," she says softly. "One of us should probably be on time," she adds mockingly, drawing an eye roll from the other woman.

"I won't be late," Amanda grumbles, stretching once more as Olivia rises from the bed and makes her way to the door.

"Sure you won't." The older woman's tone is matter-of-fact but there's a heavy layer of disbelief woven in that Amanda can hear and she shakes her head, smiling tenderly when Olivia stops in the doorway. "Don't lay there too long," Olivia winks. "I'll see you soon…"

* * *

"Mornin', Lieu!"

Carisi is on her the second she crosses the threshold into the squad room not quite two hours later and she fights the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes as he eagerly matches her step for step all the way into her office.

"Good morning, Carisi," Olivia says dryly. She sets her bag on the floor beside her desk and shakes off her jacket, striding toward the coat rack by the door and hanging up the garment before making her way back to her desk and sorting through various messages that have already accumulated. "Did we catch anything?"

She already knows the answer to this, even if she doesn't know the outcome quite yet, but Carisi is none the wiser, shaking his head dismissively. "Fin mentioned something this morning but I'm not up to speed," he shares before adding, "Barba called though."

"Already?"

The enthusiastic detective nods, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Wanted to know if we'd gotten Claudia yet."

Olivia's eyes widen in disbelief and she checks her watch as she leads Carisi back out into the squad room. "It's barely 8 o'clock," she argues, to which the young detective holds his hands out in a _don't shoot the messenger_ type gesture before he takes a seat at his desk. "Okay," the Lieutenant sighs, turning her attention instead to Fin as she perches on the edge of Amanda's empty desk, the blonde not yet in the squad room. "I heard you and Amanda caught a case last night."

Fin nods. "Thirty-two year old female was admitted to Mercy following a domestic disturbance last night," the senior detective began matter-of-factly. "Neighbors called the cops after they heard a ruckus coming from the apartment next door. Vic had a dislocated shoulder, covered in bruises, cuts on her face… Amanda and I waited until they were done stitchin' her up, but she wouldn't talk. Didn't want to press charges," he finishes, shrugging.

"Wonderful," Olivia says flatly, looking up as Amanda finally hurries into the squad room. "Nice of you to join us, Amanda," she announces. Her tone carries a lilt of authority, but there is a sparkle in her brown eyes when Amanda looks up to meet them, and she mumbles an apology around a small smile as she sits at her desk and turns on her laptop. "Fin was just bringing us up to speed on the domestic you two caught last night," she explains, turning her attention back to the other detectives, focusing on Fin first. "I think we ought to circle back with your vic, see if a night in the hospital made her change her mind about pressing charges. Check out the husband, boyfriend, whatever he is," her hand flails. "See if there's a pattern there, any priors… You know what to do." Fin nods and stands, pulling his jacket off the back of his chair. Olivia starts when Amanda rises with him. "Going somewhere?"

Amanda levels the older woman with a quizzical look. "I thought I was going with Fin…?"

The brunette shakes her head. "Barba is being especially impatient today," she says, offering little else in the way of explanation. "Carisi, you go with Fin. Keep me in the loop," Olivia commands. "And Georgia Peach," the older woman drawls, lightly slapping the tops of her thighs as she stands up, declaring, "You're with me."

Amanda ducks her head to hide her smile as she leaves the squad room behind the Lieutenant, scurrying to keep up with the long, purposeful stride of the older woman. To her fellow detectives, there's nothing abnormal about that statement— _you're with me_. In fact, it's one they've heard countless times before.

Inside, though, her heart is soaring. To her, that one little phrase holds so much more now than it did before, and she has to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep a grin off her face as the four of them step into the elevator together.

 _I'm with her._

* * *

 **This is a filler chapter of sorts. I wanted to get into Amanda's head a little bit, just to even things out and kind of show how they're both reacting to this new change in their relationship. I hope this wasn't a let-down. I'm going to try to get some more action (if ya know what I mean) into the next chapter.**

 **If there's anything in particular you all want to see in this story, speak now...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Suuuuper rough edit. I just wanted to get this posted. Sorry for any mistakes and hope you like! Thanks Sheepish123 for letting me vent a little while I was figuring out what to do with this one...**

* * *

"I can't…" Claudia says, her voice wobbly and just barely more than a whisper.

Amanda hangs her head, silent as she watches the shaken woman pace nervously in front of the picture window in her sparsely decorated living room. Between them, Olivia sits on the edge of a small couch, her hands clasped together and resting between her knees.

They'd decided on the way over here that Olivia would take the lead for this conversation. Victims always tended to respond better to the older woman's display of compassion and understanding, and though Claudia had initially bonded with Amanda, the younger detective thought Olivia might have better luck in convincing her to testify.

"I'm sorry," Claudia chokes out. "I just—I can't do it. I can't… I can't…"

The more the young woman thinks about the prospect of telling her story in court, the more hysterical she gets and Olivia leans forward as a chorus of frantic _I can't's_ begin to fill the room. The brunette resists the urge to go to the other woman, knowing that she wouldn't want to be touched, opting instead to hold her hands out in what she hopes is a calming gesture. "Claudia," she calls gently. She waits until tear-filled gray eyes are fixed on her before she continues. "Don't be sorry, okay? This is…" Olivia grimaces, shaking her head. "This is not ideal. I…" she shrugs, "I get that. Testifying is _your_ choice here, okay? Nobody can make you."

"Okay." Claudia's voice is small but she gives the older woman an emphatic nod of understanding. The room falls into a slightly uncomfortable silence as Olivia and Amanda give her time to digest, and they watch as she crosses an arm over her midsection, bringing her free hand up to her lips. Claudia nervously gnaws on a fingernail as she fixes her forlorn gaze out the window and to the street below.

"I certainly don't mean to put any pressure on you," Olivia begins, "But I do need to tell you…" She pauses and takes a deep breath, meeting Claudia's eyes when the younger woman turns to look at her. "Right now, with the evidence we have...the _best_ way to make sure the man who did this to you goes to prison…is—"

"—To testify," Claudia finishes for her, her tone flat.

Amanda's eyes fall shut as Claudia turns her back on them completely, and she can feel the dejection in Olivia's body language as the brunette's shoulders fall slightly. She steps forward, gripping the back of the couch Olivia sits on to curb the urge to comfort the older woman, and focuses her attention on Claudia.

"I know this is hard, honey," Amanda begins, powering through even when the younger woman scoffs in response. "This has been a painful process. You gotta live what happened to you over and over again… And the thought of doin' it even one more time is awful. I understand. Believe me, I do. But," Amanda shrugs one shoulder, "It might help you to get some closure—"

"—And it _might_ send him to prison," Claudia interjects, turning around to face the Lieutenant and Detective. "But, y'know, it also might _not_ ," she adds. Her voice holds no venom; only fact. Fact that neither Amanda nor Olivia can dispute, knowing as intimately as they do that the justice system isn't always _just_. "Look," Claudia starts, running a hand through tangled hair. "I really appreciate everything you guys have done for me, but I just can't…" Her voice cracks and she shakes her head, taking a minute to breathe before continuing. "I'm already going to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, so it doesn't really matter whether he's in prison or not, does it?"

Olivia sighs. "I'm sorry, Claudia." She doesn't know what else to say and knows that even an apology pales in comparison to what she wishes she could tell this young woman; what she so desperately needs to hear.

Claudia nods but it's a gesture of acknowledgement more than it is acceptance, and she wipes at her eyes as she moves toward the door. "I think you guys should go," she says softly.

"Okay."

Olivia pushes herself up off the couch and follows Amanda to the door. Just before she crosses the threshold onto the stoop after the blonde, she pauses, turning to lock eyes with the teary younger woman and trying for a small smile. "I just want you to know… it _does_ get better."

"That's easy for you to say," Claudia sniffles. Olivia watches the other woman's eyes widen, seemingly surprised by her own words, and she tries to convey understanding with her eyes. She knows that urge to lash out and she doesn't begrudge Claudia for feeling like she needs to. This moment, regardless of the fact that they're all on the same side, is the only thing Claudia feels like she can control right now, and that's a hard thing to let go of when you're violated as deeply as she was.

With another small smile, Olivia steps fully onto the stoop to join Amanda, holding Claudia's gaze until the other woman shuts the door. When they hear the locks engage, both release weary sighs and Amanda looks over at her boss, finding it hard to believe it was mere hours ago that she'd woken up in the other woman's arms. Already, it felt like it had been days and there was little, if anything, the blonde wanted to do more than crawl into those arms again.

Shoving her hands in her pockets to stifle that urge, Amanda heaves a deep sigh and squares her shoulders, footsteps heavy as she trudges down the steps and toward the car. Just before she's out of earshot of the older woman, she mutters, "I really hate this job sometimes."

Olivia's heart drops when Amanda's soft utterance makes its way to her ears. She had known that Claudia's case was getting to the Detective; could feel the helplessness radiating off of her in the townhouse with Claudia. She wants to wrap her arms around the younger woman and hold her, letting the 'Lieutenant' and 'Detective' in them be damned, even if just for a little while. But, she knows she can't. Not here; not while they're on duty. So, releasing a sigh of her own, she follows the path Amanda had taken to the car, knowing that while this is the first time the job will get in the way of their burgeoning personal relationship, it most certainly will not be the last.

"Me, too."

* * *

Olivia looks over at Amanda as they make their way through busy New York streets, their early start meaning they were catching the tail end of rush hour—assuming it ever stopped—as they made their way downtown to Barba's office. Two failed attempts to get the ADA on the phone meant that they were paying him an in-person visit and hoping for good news about Claudia's case. The younger woman was pensive, quiet; her elbow perched on the driver door and her left hand cradling the side of her head as she maneuvers the car one-handed.

"Hey," the brunette calls softly. She holds her hand out palm up on the center console, wiggling her fingers enticingly and smiling when Amanda shifts so she can hold the older woman's hand with her right and drive with her left. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Amanda says after a brief pause. Her attention never strays from the road ahead, but feeling the unmistakable sensation of the other woman's gaze on her, she gives Olivia's hand a gentle squeeze and lets her thumb stroke the brunette's.

This touch, however simple, is a lifeline of sorts for the blonde; even if it's a far cry from the contact she's already grown to crave from Olivia, it's a tether to the life they're slowly beginning to build together, separate from the job. After an emotionally grueling morning, she'll take what she can get.

"I'm okay."

* * *

Barba's assistant looks up from her computer screen as they approach. "Hi, Lieutenant. Detective."

"Hi Carmen," Olivia smiles warmly. "Is he in?" she asks, pointing to the closed doors that lead into the ADA's office.

Carmen shakes her head. "He had an evidentiary hearing this morning, but it should be wrapping up soon," she explains. "You can wait for him inside if you like."

"Thank you."

Amanda nods her thanks as she follows Olivia inside, shedding her jacket at the conference table before pacing back and forth along the far wall opposite the ADA's desk.

For a few minutes, Olivia watches from where she'd settled in the corner of Barba's couch; brown eyes moving back and forth, never leaving Amanda's frame as the blonde takes a few steps in one direction before stopping and abruptly changing course back the other way. She watches Amanda run a hand through her fine blonde hair, tousling the strands before settling her hands on her hips, her pacing increasing in speed.

If she continues like this, Olivia thinks, she'll wear a hole in Barba's fancy rug.

"Amanda," the Lieutenant finally calls softly. She pats the spot next to her and smiles invitingly when the younger woman looks her way. "Come here."

The detective rolls her eyes, but Olivia can see that she's also fighting back a smile as she makes her way over to the couch, plopping heavily onto the cushion beside the older woman. She's closer to Olivia than she would've been if this scene were playing out a week ago, but she finds that it's not close enough; she craves the proximity of the other woman.

With a sigh, Amanda leans against the back cushion, lolling her head to face the brunette. "I'm fine, Liv. I promise," she says softly.

Olivia smiles and shifts so her back is against the armrest and she's facing the younger woman, her knee pressed to the side of Amanda's thigh. "I know," she says. She waits a beat before continuing, "You were starting to make me dizzy." She finishes on a wink and Amanda snorts a laugh before sobering, her eyes following Olivia's hand as it takes hers, tracing the lines on her palm.

They're both silent for a moment. Despite Amanda's assurances that she is okay, Olivia knows her well enough to understand that what happened at Claudia's apartment this morning was weighing on the younger woman. She can't force the blonde to talk to her, but she _can_ be there for her.

Finally, she feels blue eyes settle on her and she looks up from her ministrations on the blonde's hand. "Do you think I should've told her? About Patton?"

Olivia cocks her head to the side and regards the other woman. Still gripping Amanda's hand with one of hers, she brings her other arm to rest along the back of the couch, fingers lightly playing with loose strands of blonde hair, lightly grazing Amanda's forehead as she lovingly pushes her bangs aside.

"Do you think I should've told her about Lewis?" Olivia counters softly.

Amanda's brow furrows and she squeezes Olivia's hand in hers. "That's _your_ story, Liv. It's up to you whether you want to tell it or not. I'd never-"

"It's the same thing for you, Amanda," Olivia interrupts with a smile. She tenderly caresses the apple of Amanda's cheek with the pad of her thumb. "It's completely up to you whether you want to share what happened to you with _anyone_ , ever… I'd never, either," she finishes gently.

The blonde physically deflates, melting further into the couch as though the weight of her internal conundrum had melted off of her shoulders thanks to Olivia's assurances. She smiles softly at the older woman, eyes fluttering as the brunette continues feather-light caresses on her cheek.

After a long moment of silence, blue eyes locked on brown as if by some magnetic force, Olivia squeezes the other woman's hand. "Can I tell you something?"

Amanda lifts her eyebrows and shifts a tiny bit closer to the older woman. "Of course."

Olivia bites her lip, brown eyes moving to watch her fingers as they thread through blonde hair. She's not sure what's gotten into her; this whole interaction with the detective is blurring the line between co-workers and lovers in a way she swore to herself she wouldn't let happen while they were on the clock. Despite knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that they could (and probably would) get interrupted at any moment, she feels powerless to stop whatever is happening here, the pull she feels toward the younger woman.

It's as if that day in the warehouse obliterated every last shred of her self-control where Amanda was concerned. The pandora's box of her feelings had been opened. Now more than ever, she knew there was no going back now—especially since she can't seem to keep her hands off the other woman.

"Liv?"

Amanda's voice brings her back to the present, and her eyes dart back to blue, where she can see concern swirling amid the curiosity in the detective's gaze. She smiles. "I've wanted to kiss you since you walked into the squad room this morning," Olivia confesses. Her voice is a husky whisper, and she can't help the way her eyes flit downward to Amanda's lips following her declaration.

"Oh yeah?" Amanda's grip unconsciously tightens around the older woman's hand as Olivia nods, teeth sexily biting into her plump lower lip. The blonde's eyes are drawn to this action, and she desperately wishes it was _her_ teeth sinking into the other woman's lip. "Right back at ya, Lieutenant," Amanda drawls, her body leaning forward to close the small distance between their bodies.

"Barba…" Olivia breathes in warning as Amanda's lips hover over her own.

It's a last-ditch, half-hearted reminder of where they are, but Amanda doesn't care. "...isn't here," she finishes, determinedly sealing her lips over the brunette's before Olivia can offer any further argument. She feels a soft moan vibrate against her mouth and slender fingers weave through her hair before drifting to the back of her head, holding her in place against the older woman's mouth as they kiss deeply. Their lips separate with a smack and Amanda lets go of Olivia's hand in favor of cupping the older woman's cheek as she leans back in, tilting her head and parting her lips to deepen the contact. She feels the wetness of Olivia's tongue tease her lip and she opens her mouth wider in an invitation that the brunette readily accepts.

Their tongues tangle once, then twice, before the door behind Olivia bursts open and they separate hurriedly. Amanda scrambles to the center of the couch, wiping at her lips and fixing her hair as Barba strides purposefully toward his desk, his back to the two women.

"Please tell me you have good news," he says brusquely, foregoing greetings and still not facing them as he removes his jacket and begins rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt.

Olivia takes a deep breath and stands, moving to lean against a chair at his conference table. "You first," she says evenly, stalling.

"Unduly prejudicial," he mutters succinctly, finally looking up to meet Olivia's eyes and ignoring the way Amanda's head drops to the back of the couch in frustration. "We have nothing tying him _specifically_ to the other girls. Only descriptions that _could_ be him. We need more. Now," he sits in his chair, leans back and props his feet up, fixing his gaze on Amanda first, then Olivia. " _Please._ Tell me you got somewhere with Claudia."

* * *

"Well _that_ was fun," Amanda says dryly as they walk out of 1 Hogan Place and head toward the car, parked half a block up.

"He's just frustrated."

"No shit, Liv," Amanda retorts, glancing sideways at the older woman. "We all are."

"That's the nature of the job," Olivia mutters, shaking her head and shoving her hands in her pockets. "We all do the best we can and sometimes," she shrugs, "it's just not enough."

"It sucks," the blonde concludes, grumbling stubbornly.

"I know," Olivia says softly, nudging the blonde with her elbow as they approach the sedan.

They stop near the trunk and Amanda turns to look at the older woman. "So, now what?" she asks, shrugging her shoulders and leaning her hip against the back of the car.

Olivia knows the blonde is referring more to the case, to Claudia, but as Barba just drilled into them, there's not much they can do to move forward without Claudia's testimony. She steps off the sidewalk, twisting her watch around her wrist to check the time. "It's not quite noon," she reports. "What do you say we grab some lunch and then head back to the house and see how far the boys have gotten on that domestic you picked up last night?"

At the mention of the night before, Amanda's eyes darken and she steps closer to the brunette, glancing to her left and right to be sure they haven't captured the attention of anyone on the sidewalk. She reaches a hand out and grabs the edge of the older woman's jacket, tugging gently as she takes another small step into Olivia's personal space—not too close, but close enough to see that the Lieutenant's breathing is more labored than it was mere moments ago.

Amanda cocks her head to the side, her lips turning up into a sultry smirk before she murmurs in playful agreement, "I could eat."

The brunette snorts out a laugh, backing away from the younger woman with a smile as she rounds the car toward the driver door. Eyeing Amanda over the roof of the car as the detective pulls the passenger door open, Olivia spies the smug look on the blonde's face and chuckles. "I bet you could."

* * *

"It doesn't look like you guys had much luck," Olivia observes as she and Amanda breeze into the squad room an hour later to find Fin and Carisi leaned back in their respective chairs, the vibe relaxed.

"Yes and no," Fin answers cryptically.

"Okay, what does that mean?" Olivia raises her eyebrows expectantly, perching on the edge of Carisi's desk as Amanda settles at her own across the aisle. The Lieutenant's gaze drifts between her male detectives, waiting for one of them to fill her in.

"Turns out, the _boyfriend_ ," Fin uses air quotes, "is actually a female roommate-slash- _girlfriend_ ," he shares, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Well," Amanda hedges, "DV isn't exclusively a hetero issue…"

"No, it's not," Olivia agrees, turning her attention back to Fin. "Any priors?"

The older man shakes his head. "Neighbors said there's been a lot of loud fights, but last night was the first time the cops had been called."

"And how did we not know before that the assailant was the female roommate?"

"Rookie uniform filled out the paperwork," Carisi explains tersely. "Only included the name Gabe—no pronouns—and _Gabe_ was not at the scene when officers responded last night."

"Wow," Olivia shakes her head. "Okay… Did you guys circle back with the vic?"

"Doesn't want to press charges," Fin says.

"Dammit," Olivia mutters, briefly locking eyes with Amanda and seeing her own frustration reflected back in the blonde's gaze.

"Speaking of," Carisi prompts, looking between Olivia and Amanda. "How'd you guys make out?"

It's an innocuous question, but Olivia looks away quickly, fighting the hot blush she can feel rising in her chest at the memories it conjures; memories of the blonde directing her to park a little further away from the precinct than normal when they had returned, stealing heated kisses from the older woman before their alone time came to an end.

She can't even look at Amanda, knowing the blonde is likely fighting the same reaction.

"Uh," she clears her throat, pushing her hand behind her ear. "She doesn't want to testify," she shakes her head regretfully.

"Damn," Fin says softly. "And Barba couldn't get those other IDs in?"

"' _Unduly prejudicial_ ,'" Amanda bites out bitterly in confirmation.

"So we got two cases and no cooperating complainants," Carisi sums up, looking at Olivia. "Where does that leave us?"

"Waiting," she declares, rising from the edge of his desk and making her way to her own office. "And that means today a good day for paperwork—before those stacks get so high you can't see each other anymore."

* * *

Amanda isn't at her desk when Olivia leaves her office a few hours later, and the brunette releases a small sigh of relief as she strides toward the bathroom. The latter half of the day seems to be dragging on so slowly, and it feels like torture to be able to _see_ Amanda through the blinds in her office but not be able to touch her. Conversely, she's mildly thankful for a quiet day and the reprieve from having to be out in the squad room with her detectives.

This thing between her and Amanda—it's so new, so…undefined still. She feels like she's overcompensating, trying to make it seem like nothing has changed when in reality, so much has. Just the few minutes of debriefing earlier made her wonder whether she'd looked at the blonde too much, or not enough, trying not to arouse the suspicion of her other detectives.

And then there was that kiss in Barba's office… Her cheeks grow warm just thinking about it and she mentally scolds herself for the lack of control. Too many close calls like that and getting caught would only be a matter of _when_ , not _if_.

They would need to be more careful.

Olivia pushes open the door to the ladies' room, stopping short when she meets familiar blue eyes in the mirror.

 _That explains why she wasn't at her desk_ , the brunette thinks dryly.

"Lieutenant," Amanda greets. Her lips curl into a knowing smile as she turns, resting her hip against the sink and faces the older woman. It's as if she can read the struggle going on in Olivia's mind as she tries to deal with their sudden proximity and solitude.

"Amanda." Olivia lets the door shut before leaning back against it, feeling almost shy under the the other woman's unabashed gaze. "Don't look at me like that," she warns with a smirk.

"How am I looking at you?"

Sparing a quick glance at that bathroom stalls to ensure they _are_ alone, Olivia shakes her head, opting to answer safely instead of the more provocative way she was originally thinking, "Never mind." Olivia moves toward the stalls, but stops when Amanda's hand reaches out and grasps her wrist before tangling their fingers. "Amanda…"

"I know it's hard," the blonde interjects, squeezing the other woman's hand as she steps closer. "It is for me, too."

Neither speaks as Amanda moves even closer still, bringing her free hand up to hook a finger in the neckline of Olivia's blouse. She tugs the material down, just enough to expose the small discoloration on the side of the older woman's breast. Amanda smirks at the sight of it.

"You look so proud of yourself," Olivia chuckles shakily.

Amanda shrugs. "You have no idea how... _hot_ it is to see that mark on you...and know that _I_ put it there."

Suddenly, it feels like it's about a thousand degrees in the small bathroom and Amanda leans closer, smiling inwardly when she sees Olivia's breath catch. She moves in slowly and presses her lips to the Lieutenant's breast, letting her tongue dart out to lick the mark before she pulls back and smoothes Olivia's blouse back into place.

She backs away from the older woman and toward the door, her gaze never straying from dark eyes swirling with arousal before she pulls the door open a crack and winks over her shoulder.

"Back to work, Lieutenant."

Amanda's phone buzzes in her pocket before she even gets back to her desk and she smirks to herself, knowing even before she looks that it's going to be Olivia.

She swipes to open the message, pressing her thumb down to unlock the phone before their thread pops up on her screen. The message is just three words, but it's enough to send all the moisture in her body southward and instantly make however many hours that are left in this day nearly unbearable.

 _Come over tonight._

* * *

 ** _100%_ not my best work, so I'm sorry for that. BUT I've set up the chapter I think you all have been waiting for, so show me in the reviews that you're still into this story and we'll get this party started :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the continued feedback on this little story that could. Still kind of flying by the seat of my pants here; I hope it's not tremendously obvious. :)**

* * *

When Amanda had first arrived to the older woman's apartment earlier in the evening, in lieu of pleasantries, she had found herself being yanked inside and pushed firmly against the door, Olivia's lips pressed to hers with the kind of frenzy and passion they had both been struggling to maintain control of throughout the day.

Clumsily, Olivia had pulled the blonde deeper into the apartment, haphazardly steering them until they fell, a breathless pile of tangled limbs, onto the plush cushions of her couch, where they stayed—lips wandering across heated flesh and hands groping under clothes—until sharp knocking startled them apart and Olivia got up to get their food she'd called in when Amanda was on her way over.

Now, an assortment of mostly emptied takeout containers lay spread across the coffee table in front of them and they lay on opposite ends of the brunette's couch; one hunger satisfied while the flames of another are stoked by a game of questions that had started out innocently enough, but had taken no time at all to turn anything but pure.

"Okay, my turn," Amanda says. Her lips twist in a wry smile as she eyes Olivia over the rim of her beer bottle before taking a sip and reaching over to set the glass on the coffee table. From her spot at the other end of the couch, Olivia arches an inquisitive eyebrow, brown eyes glinting with amusement and adoration. Their legs are tangled together on the couch between them and while Olivia's left hand holds her own beer against the top of her thigh, Amanda reaches up to hold her right where it sits along the back of the couch. She laces their fingers together as a blush—whether from their conversation or the buzz she feels from the alcohol—begins to tint her cheeks. She cocks her head to the side. "You ever…" she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, sparking a snort of laughter from the other woman, "...with someone you worked with... _while_ you were workin' with 'em?"

"You mean besides now?" Olivia eyes the blonde pointedly, but she squeezes the younger woman's hand in hers, and Amanda can see a playful sparkle in her eye. "What, are you fishing for ideas?"

Amanda doesn't miss a beat, grinning, "Are you avoiding the question?"

Olivia sighs, trying unsuccessfully to hide a grin of her own as she shakes her head in resignation. "Once," she admits softly. "Alex."

Though she wasn't sure what kind of answer she had been expecting, the younger woman is dumbfounded and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise, drawing a chuckle out of the brunette. "Cabot?" Amanda asks, and Olivia nods sheepishly. " _When_?"

Olivia takes a swig of her beer before answering. "It was a long time ago," she starts. "Before she got shot. You know that story, right?"

"Yeah, it was all over the news. Even in Atlanta."

"Right, well," Olivia sighs and bites her lip. "It was casual. We were both too into our jobs for a real relationship and, well…" she shrugs, "It was better than bringing home strangers."

"Wow. So the rumors were true."

" _Those_ rumors were," Olivia corrects, smirking at Amanda while taking another sip. "I know those aren't the only ones that have gone around about my sex life…" She chuckles as realization dawns in Amanda's eyes.

"You mean your old partner?"

Olivia nods, before hastening to add, "It never happened. Not even once."

"I know." The blonde says the words with such confidence that Olivia narrows her eyes in silent question, and Amanda explains, "He was married, Liv. I know that's not your scene."

"He wasn't always married," Olivia argues, then backtracks, "Well, he was never divorced, either. But those months when they were separated…" She shakes her head of the memories, "God, those were the worst of our whole partnership." Olivia pauses and her eyes find a photo of him among an assortment of memories that line her window sill. It's one of the whole squad back when she'd first joined SVU. They were all babies then—even Munch. Sometimes she couldn't believe how long it'd been; how much had changed… how much _she_ had changed. "It's like we knew we were playing with fire...and if we did, we were gonna get burned. So, we didn't."

Amanda knows Elliot Stabler has been a sensitive subject for the brunette and she feels the once playful mood shift slightly now that the conversation has turned to him. "I'm sorry for bringing him up," she says softly.

Olivia turns her gaze back to the younger woman and smiles, squeezing the hand still wrapped around hers. "Don't be," she says simply. "Besides, you didn't—I did. He's a part of my history...and it doesn't hurt to talk about him as much now as it used to. I've made my peace with what happened. Plus," she fixes the blonde with an affectionate stare, "I realized a long time ago that I'm better off without him."

"Good for you, Liv," Amanda says sincerely.

"It's true… you know, if he hadn't left, _we_ may not have met," Olivia points out, gesturing between the two of them.

"You say that like you actually enjoyed having me around at first," Amanda teases. She smiles when Olivia rolls her eyes and she lowers her leg from the couch so she can scoot closer to the brunette. They'd both behaved during dinner, but now that that's over, the distance between them is beginning to feel cavernous. Amanda aches for the proximity again.

The older woman drains her beer, setting the empty bottle on the floor beside the couch before letting her fingers play with a hole in the blonde's distressed jeans. She smiles when Amanda jerks from her touch, the other woman complaining about cold fingers before Olivia's touch eventually warms against her skin. "I was still reeling then," the brunette says apologetically.

"I know."

"And I might have felt a little territorial…"

This one is news to Amanda and her eyebrow arches in surprise. " _Really_?"

"Sure." Olivia shrugs one shoulder as if this is a no-brainer, while her hand continues to caress the outside of Amanda's knee through her jeans. She hears the blonde take in a measured breath and, knowing how affected the other woman is by her touch, she smirks flirtatiously. "This young, hotshot detective comes in from Atlanta with her fancy degree—"

"—You have a degree, too, Liv," Amanda reminds her patiently with a roll of the eyes. "And you're _Olivia Benson_. I was practically trippin' over myself around you those first few months."

"I wasn't feeling much like Olivia Benson then," the brunette says honestly. "And you're _so good,_ Amanda." Olivia looks away with a wistful smile before returning her gaze to the younger woman. "You know, when you and Nick first started, Cragen kept telling me to help you guys, get you up to speed… but I didn't want to. And then," she chuckles, "Turns out, you didn't need me to. Whenever I doubted you or tried to dismiss you, you kept proving me wrong," she shares with a small smile.

Olivia lets go of Amanda's hand long enough to flatten their palms together before intertwining their fingers again, concentrating on the movements and taking the time to really feel Amanda's skin against hers—the warmth of it, the softness. For a moment, neither speaks, both women mesmerized by how such a subtle gesture could hold so much intimacy inside it.

Finally, Olivia smiles shyly, shooting Amanda a sidelong glance as she adds, "I think I felt a little threatened."

"Wow," Amanda breathes. She is mystified. Given how the day had gone, when she'd arrived at Olivia's apartment this evening, she'd half-expected them to dive into sex—which, had it not been for the delivery boy's poor timing, they likely would have. What she didn't expect, though, was the fun game of questions during dinner to evolve into this—a dismantling of the walls they'd surrounded themselves with over the years; two guarded people learning to open up. Emboldened, Amanda leans a little closer to Olivia, lifting a hand to caress the older woman's cheek before brushing soft brown hair behind her ear. "And look at us now."

It's hard to believe it's only been a matter of days since a narrow-miss with a bullet awakened a whirlwind of long-suppressed feelings within Olivia. A week ago, she had no idea what Amanda tasted like; how she kissed, the softness of her stomach, the color of her nipples… And now, all she could think about was how much she wanted to know _more—_ everything there was to know about the other woman _._ "It's a little surreal," she agrees softly.

In a bold move, one that escalates the intensity of their conversation, Amanda's free hand moves to the skin of Olivia's neck, her touch just light enough to drive the brunette crazy, and she feels the heat of arousal begin to tint her cheeks as her breath comes out more raggedly through her parted lips.

"And now?" Amanda hums intuitively, leaning closer still. "How do I make you feel now, Liv?"

"God, you make me feel... _so much_ ," Olivia husks, leaning back against the arm of the couch. She disentangles her hand from Amanda's, wrapping her now free arm around the other woman's waist to ensure that the blonde stays close; Amanda's lips hover teasingly over her skin as she moves. "Like I can't breathe." She gasps as Amanda's lips finally make contact, sucking wantonly at her pulse point before licking a path to the spot just behind her ear.

"What else?" Amanda rasps; her mouth hovers over Olivia's ear, her hot breath tickling the erogenous area, and she feels the older woman shudder below her as her hand travels upward from the brunette's knee to her upper thigh over the denim of her jeans, kneading the muscular flesh as she goes.

Olivia moans, arching her body to feel more of Amanda's against her as her eyes drift closed. "Like I don't want anyone else," she says breathily. It's a weighty admission, especially given how new this change is between them. It's indicative of how quickly they've both allowed themselves to fall into each other, and she sighs, letting her hands drift to the skin of Amanda's hips beneath the plaid shirt that the younger woman wears. "It scares me," she confesses.

The words come out barely above a whisper, but they resonate loudly in Amanda's ears. She tries to pull away, suddenly concerned that she's pushing it the brunette too far, too fast, but the effort is thwarted by the tightening of Olivia's grip on her hips. Instead, she moves her head back, meeting the older woman's eyes when they open slowly. "What scares you?" Amanda asks earnestly.

"This." Olivia squeezes her hips and is quick to continue when she sees the stricken look flit across Amanda's face at her admission. "Nothing has ever felt this right… but what happens when it's not just us anymore, Amanda?"

The blonde shifts, holding her weight above the older woman with one hand on the arm of the couch and the other on the cushion beside Olivia's hip. "What d'you mean?"

"It's been a day and we've barely been able to keep our hands off each other," Olivia retorts flatly, the corner of her mouth lifting into a small smirk. She emphasizes her point by running her hands up and down the younger woman's back over her shirt, enjoying the responding shudder her touch elicits as blue eyes flutter closed before reopening blearily. "We could've been caught a couple different times today. It's just a matter of time before someone catches on."

"And you're worried about what happens when we have to start lettin' people in on this," Amanda says knowingly. "Like, disclosin'?"

"Exactly that," Olivia confirms. She shifts on the couch until she's in more of a reclining position against the armrest, with one leg threaded between Amanda's as the younger woman settles on top of her. Her hand continues it's lazy patterns across Amanda's back, occasionally dipping beneath her shirt to feel the heat of her skin. It seems premature, given that they have yet to consummate this new relationship; no declarations of love have been exchanged—and yet, Olivia feels inexplicably like they're pushing their luck by not getting everything out in the open sooner rather than later. It feels a lot like they're damned if they do, and yet damned if they don't. "Do you think we're ready for that?"

Amanda sighs, reaching up to trace Olivia's lips before capturing them in a tender kiss. "I don't know," she says honestly. Her track record with relationships surely wasn't any better than the brunette's. "But what's the worst case scenario? They make one of us transfer?"

Olivia shrugs, "Probably. And then one of us goes to…" she flails a hand helplessly, "Brooklyn or Queens or wherever…" It doesn't even enter her mind that one of them would leave SVU, the unit too much a part of them both for either of them to consider a move to another, like Homicide, "but we're both still cops. Our schedules would be crazy. We'd never see each other—"

"Whoa, hey! Slow down, Liv," Amanda laughs. She runs her fingers through soft auburn hair and tenderly strokes the older woman's temple as her eyes dart between concerned brown ones. "Sounds like you're doomin' us to fail before we even get started…"

"Why do you think I'm still single?" Olivia quips self-deprecatingly, leaning up to kiss Amanda chastely when the blonde cocks her head at her. "I'm sorry, I'm just… I hate the thought of not seeing you everyday, especially after today. This feels so… different, y'know? Like it could actually work. And I don't want to fuck it up."

"We're not gonna fuck it up, Olivia." The brunette arches an eyebrow in a silent challenge to her assertion and Amanda can't hold back a short bark of laughter. "Okay, so we will," she concedes, pinching at Olivia's side and rolling her eyes. "But we'll work it out," she promises, sobering. "This feels like the real deal to me, Liv… stop waiting for the other shoe to drop." She punctuates the statement with a sound kiss to the other woman's mouth, sucking on Olivia's bottom lip as she pulls away and presses their foreheads together.

"And if it doesn't? We just live happily ever after?" Olivia asks, her tone is breathy and disbelieving as she searches the blue eyes boring into her own. "When has that ever happened to you?"

For a moment, Amanda is silent, and Olivia merely watches as the other woman's lips slowly morph into a smile, blue eyes bright and dancing with a truth that hasn't been shared with her yet. "Well," the blonde drawls, her fingertips lightly skimming Olivia's side. "The good thing is…" She lowers her head, maintaining eye contact as her nose nuzzles the brunette's, and when their lips are millimeters apart, she whispers against them, "It only has to happen once."

Olivia releases a deep moan the second their lips connect, one hand resting against Amanda's lower back, holding the blonde against her, while the other comes up to cup a soft cheek. She angles her head to the side, parting her lips and deepening the kiss when Amanda allows her tongue entrance, prompting another, more muffled moan to escape into the other woman's mouth. Amanda's hand flattens against her rib cage, sliding up slowly until it covers her clothed breast, and she breaks their heated kiss with a squeak when the blonde's hand expertly locates her nipple beneath two layers of fabric, tweaking the hardening bud between her thumb and forefinger.

"When did—" Olivia gasps, throwing her head back and swallowing thickly as she struggles to catch her breath. "When did you become such a believer in happy endings?"

Amanda breathes out a laugh as she lowers her face into Olivia's neck, stifling a moan when she grinds her hips down against the thigh placed conveniently between hers. "About two days ago."

Fingers thread through blonde hair, holding the younger woman in place as Amanda sucks on Olivia's neck again—lightly, though, heeding the request of no marks from the previous night. She licks her way up to the sensitive spot where the brunette's jaw meets her ear, and she can practically feel Olivia vibrating with need beneath her. A strangled moan escapes parted lips and the older woman's hips buck upward, seemingly of their own accord.

Their conversation is long forgotten, now that both women are inextricably focused on the sensations they're inflicting upon one another. Olivia tries to separate her mind from the sheer want she feels long enough to get Amanda's clothes off without the blonde having to move from where she is, deliciously pressed against her from head to toe. But it's a futile attempt that ends with her tugging at the clothing that covers the younger woman, grunting "off" in pained, needy instruction.

Amanda pushes herself up off the brunette, and the sudden cold that takes the place of the other woman's body against hers jarrs Olivia before her brain catches up and she leans forward, shaky fingers pushing Amanda's out of the way to complete the task of divesting the younger woman of her shirt. A fork clatters to the ground as the shirt is tossed aside, but it is ignored as Olivia growls at the sight of Amanda's chest; her perfect breasts hidden by a satin garment of the exact same cornflower blue as her eyes, darkened with arousal.

"Gorgeous," Olivia murmurs reverently.

"Yeah, you are," Amanda breathes. She doesn't waste a second before whipping the t-shirt over Olivia's head, tossing it over the back of the couch and leaving both women in a similar state of undress, chests heaving as they struggle to control their ragged breaths.

Amanda's eyes close as Olivia's arms wrap securely around her hips, fingertips tickling her bare sides with featherlight touches. She tangles her own hands in tousled brown hair as Olivia trails open-mouthed kisses along her stomach, upward across the soft skin between her breasts, before veering to the side and lightly biting a nipple through the material of her bra. "Fuck," Amanda moans. She pushes Olivia's hair off her forehead, looking down to meet brown pools, impossibly deep with arousal, and Olivia hums contentedly as the blonde gently scrapes her fingernails along her scalp. "That feel good?" she whispers.

" _You_ feel good," Olivia answers profoundly. Their gazes lock, and Olivia presses her lips to Amanda's skin once again as one of her hands trails lightly up the other woman's back, expertly undoing the clasp of her bra. She leans away slightly as Amanda lets the material slide off her shoulders and down her arms before flinging it out of the way. Immediately, Olivia's hands cover her breasts, squeezing them and teasing them, before her mouth settles over first one mound and then the other. She sucks on each puckered nipple, feeling Amanda's heart race beneath her palm as she continues to tease and torture. "You're so beautiful, Amanda," she whispers against heated flesh, her breath catching when she feels a hand slide down her back to undo the clasp of her own bra.

Reluctantly, Olivia pulls away from the younger woman, just enough to remove the garment. She is about to return to her spot worshipping Amanda's body when she feels a hand pushing her backward. She complies, shooting a quizzical look up at the blonde, who smiles back at her.

"I want to feel you," Amanda explains. She hisses as she lowers herself onto the older woman until they are chest-to -chest. Her lips find Olivia's in a searing kiss while her hand comes up to knead a full breast, the supple flesh pressed intimately against her own.

"Oh, God," Olivia whimpers. She rakes her hands down Amanda's back and over her backside, squeezing the firm flesh over the other woman's jeans and pushing Amanda down against her thigh, encouraging her to grind against it. She knew this was going to happen; had been thinking about it ever since she sent Amanda that text after their bathroom encounter, probably even before that, if she's honest—but nothing could have prepared her for what she was feeling now.

The sensations are just as intense and mind-blowing as they were the night before, but it's magnified somehow, and Olivia doesn't know if it's just because they _know_ what's happening now, or if, by talking about it— _them—_ they've stumbled upon a whole new level of intimacy. Fleetingly, she wonders if _this_ is the elusive difference between having sex and making love. Her skin feels like it's burning from the inside out and she has this compulsive need to touch Amanda anywhere, _everywhere_ , and there's too many things in the way.

Amanda notices that Olivia's breathing has increased, so much so it sounds like the older woman is on the verge of hyperventilating. She pulls back and caresses a flushed cheek with her thumb, searching the other woman's eyes for any sign that she wants to stop. "Are you okay?" she asks breathlessly.

"Yes," Olivia nods immediately, licking her lips. "I just..." she stumbles, gripping Amanda's hips tightly. "I _want—"_

"What?" Amanda prods. "What do you want?"

Olivia growls and in a split second, she takes Amanda by surprise, reversing their positions on the couch so that the blonde is now flat on her back with Olivia hovering over her, hands clawing at her belt, desperately trying to get it open. "I want these _off."_

Amanda's breasts bounce with the force of the brunette's struggle and she bites her lip to stifle the laugh that bubbles up in her throat at her lover's frantic need to remove her jeans. "Need some help?" she offers playfully, reaching down to undo her belt buckle before unbuttoning and unzipping the garment. She pushes the material just barely over her hips before Olivia is yanking them down her legs and off completely, leaving her clad only in a pair of lacy boy shorts. The older woman immediately reclaims her spot over the blonde and captures her lips in a sensual kiss. "Happy now?" Amanda asks breathlessly between kisses. She swallows the grunt she gets in response, moaning at the feeling of Olivia's warm skin pressed against hers. She trails her hand down a muscular back before dipping beneath the waistband of Olivia's jeans, groaning wantonly against the older woman's lips when her hand meets bare flesh. "Jesus, Liv, are you tryin' to kill me?"

Olivia hums sensually, trailing kisses along Amanda's jaw before nibbling at her earlobe, sucking the sensitive flesh into her hot mouth. "Maybe," she whispers, drawing a pronounced shiver from the younger woman before grinding her hips down into the blonde's. "Is it working?"

" _Fuck_ ," Amanda mewls. She arches her neck back to give Olivia more room to work, her hands caressing and massaging every inch of olive skin she can reach while her eyes roll back in her head. This woman was going to be the death of her. "Liv, I need—"

"I know," Olivia husks. Slowly, making sure her lips touch every piece of skin along the way, the brunette moves downward along Amanda's body until her face is level with the waistband of the blonde's panties. She pauses then, taking a moment to breathe in the faint scent of Amanda's arousal and her own desire increases a hundredfold with the knowledge that what she'll find beneath those panties is for her, and _only_ her.

Amanda had been desperate to get her hands on Olivia, to get them back to equal footing, to feel their bodies pressed together skin-on-skin. But looking down, meeting brown eyes fiery with desire, she feels an ache in her core that is instantly overwhelming, and now all she can think about is feeling Olivia's lips and tongue and, _God help her_ , fingers… "Liv, please," she begs, rolling her hips upward.

"I've got you, Amanda," the brunette promises huskily. She hooks her fingers in the material of the younger woman's panties and gently begins to tug them down.

No sooner do the words leave her mouth, however, than a phone rings, and the disappointment crashes heavily onto Amanda as they lock eyes briefly before she covers her face with her hands.

"You've got to be _fucking_ kidding me," she whines, separating her fingers and eyeing the brunette as she fishes the offending device from her back pocket. "I swear to Lucifer, if that's work, I'm throwing both of our phones in the Hudson," she declares, earning a sympathetic laugh from the older woman.

Thankfully, Olivia doesn't wait long before putting her out of her misery, turning the phone around to show that it's not a member of their squad, but rather an unknown number that's interrupting their pleasure. "False alarm," Olivia declares.

"Thank God," Amanda breathes. She's eager to return to where they left off when she sees and feels Olivia push herself up off the couch. "Wait, where are you going?" she asks, sitting up and looking at the older woman with wide, blue eyes. "Come back here," she beckons, hand outstretched. Olivia smirks but shakes her head, instead reaching for Amanda's hand to pull her up off the couch. "Are you okay?" the blonde asks, her tone concerned as she steps into the other woman's embrace. "Do you want to stop? We can-"

"I don't want to stop," Olivia whispers hotly, cradling Amanda's neck and pulling the younger woman in for a fervent kiss that deepens immediately. The blonde moans at the near immediate invasion of the other woman's tongue, and she angles her head, returning the kiss with equal ardor until it naturally begins to taper back down.

It takes a moment for Amanda to open her eyes once the kiss breaks, and when she does, she takes a steadying breath, tightening her hold on the older woman's hips. "Okay," she says dumbly, spurring a chuckle from Olivia as the older woman leans in and presses a tender kiss to her forehead. Most of Amanda's energy is spent fighting the urge to cup the generous breasts of the woman standing before her, because she knows innately that if she does, all caution will be thrown to the wind and she'll end up taking Olivia against the nearest viable surface. The older woman deserves better than that.

"I do have a bed," Olivia whispers invitingly, her soft words cutting into the blonde's internal struggle for control. She nuzzles Amanda's nose before lightly kissing the tip, and when Amanda hums in response, she jerks her head toward the hallway beyond the kitchen, quirking her eyebrow in a gesture that is somehow simultaneously playful and seductive. "Interested?"

* * *

 ***runs...**

 **So, I sat down to write this chapter having a vague idea where it would go, and then they just decided to go down a slightly different path. I'm not _unhappy_ with it, necessarily. It just means the _really_ good stuff gets pushed back a chapter. **

**Anyway... thoughts?**


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